5 Ways To Help A Loved One Struggling With Loss

Man hugging a crying woman

Losing a loved one changes your life forever. When someone you love has recently suffered a loss, you may not know how to offer comfort. This article highlights five ways to help a loved one struggling with loss.

 

1. Listen, don’t relate.

Sometimes the best thing you can offer someone struggling with loss is your ear. You should assure the person that you will listen if they ever want to talk. Do not force them or nudge them to talk. Instead, just assure them that you will listen.

 

When listening to them, do not try to relate to their experience. It is important to remember that everyone does not process loss in the same manner. So, when you listen, be impartial, empathetic, and kind.

 

2. Respect the person’s process.

There isn’t any right or wrong way to process grief. Some people grieve by remembering the good times they have spent with their loved ones. Others grieve by making gestures or openly talking. Throughout this, it is important to support and respect them.

 

Do not tell them they “should grieve” by doing something, such as visiting their grave, going to therapy, or any other method. Instead, respect them to understand what they want and give help every time they ask.

 

3. Do not pepper them with questions.

When you ask, “how are you?” they won’t always say, “I am not fine.” Instead, ask, “how are you feeling today” or “how are you feeling right now”? Accept their response, and do not pressure them to elaborate if they do not wish to.

 

Sometimes, your loved one may give the same answer to every question, or they may deflect it. If this happens, do not get upset. Instead, listen patiently and compassionately.

 

4. Give space and stay connected.

Sometimes your loved one may want to spend some time alone to process their feelings or memories. Adapting to normal life after suffering a loss is difficult. Therefore, allow them this space but stay connected.

 

Find a way to communicate that helps you keep in touch but gives them their space. For example, some people may find comfort in a simple text message, while others would want you to drop in. Find a method of communication that they are most comfortable with.

 

5. Offer assistance.

Sometimes when a loved one struggles with loss, everyday chores can become difficult. Instead of waiting for them to ask for help, ask them whether you can do any chores for them.

 

Planning a funeral can be a difficult task to manage when grieving. Offer your assistance in planning the funeral. If they refuse, offer assistance doing other household chores so that they can focus on making funeral arrangements. For example, you can offer to take care of their pets, do laundry, or grocery shopping. Simple chores like these can feel overwhelming.

 

If you want to know more ways you can help your loved one struggling with a loss, contact our experts at Found and Sons. Our expertise and insights can help you support your loved one through a difficult time.

How To Write A Good Eulogy

Woman giving a eulogy

Summarizing someone’s life in a short speech is an awesome responsibility, especially in the midst of dealing with your own grief. Having a plan of action when preparing a eulogy can ease anxiety, and help the writer clearly communicate a meaningful message that honors the memory of their loved one. Following these steps can help guide you through how to write a good eulogy.

Research and gather information

  • Gather biographical details such as where the person was born, where they grew up, nicknames, and family members.
  • Interview close friends and family members of the deceased to learn more about their lives. You’ll want to include significant life events and accomplishments, favorite stories, unique hobbies/interests, and personality traits. These details will help paint a picture of who the person was, and what made them special.
  • Write down your own memories of the deceased. Adding your own memories and stories will help make your eulogy more personal and meaningful.

 Organize your information

  • Combine all the information you have collected into one list, and go through and decide what you would like to include.
  • Write a general outline of what you want to share, and organize it into sections. You may want to share biographical details first, followed by stories, memories, and unique qualities of the individual, followed by closing remarks. Be sure to show gratitude in your closing. Share your gratitude for the person you are eulogizing and thank those in attendance for being there to celebrate their life.

 Speak from the Heart

  • As you write your eulogy, be genuine and speak from the heart. The best eulogies are personal, not formal. Write in your own style, in your own words. Remember that this is a celebration of the person’s life, not just a biographical speech. As you write, reflect on what the person meant to you, and that will convey in your eulogy.

 Get Feedback

  • It can be helpful to get feedback from others after writing your eulogy. Reading it aloud to someone will help you gauge the appropriateness of the length, and whether it flows well. After reading it aloud, you can go back and edit it until it feels right to you.

Other Tips

  • Use humor. It is ok to be light and use humor in a eulogy, as long as you remain respectful, and keep your audience in mind.
  • Consider using a theme to weave your content together. Theme examples could be the impact the deceased had on the lives of others, lessons you learned from them, overcoming challenges, or specific values they held dear.
  • Don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself. There is no right or wrong way to write a eulogy, and every eulogy is unique. Your main goal is to honor the deceased by sharing details and stories from their lives, and what they meant to the people around them.
  • Writing a eulogy can bring up many emotions and feelings. It is important to pace yourself as you write, and take breaks as needed.

 

Writing a eulogy can actually be a cathartic experience, as it can actually help you process your grief. Following these steps and tips can help you to get organized, take things a step at a time, and write a good eulogy that honors your loved one, and comforts those grieving with you.

 

In all of this, seeking the support you need is an important priority. Found & Sons has resources for grief and healing to help you cope during this difficult time.

Meaningful Things You Can Do for Someone Who is Grieving

Man hugging a woman who is grieving

Life is full of ups and downs. There are moments of success, and then there are moments of failure or grief. But nothing is sadder than a loved one leaving us forever; the loss is an irreparable one.

Memories associated with them are fresh in our minds, and it becomes very tough to let go. Due to this internal pain, stress hormones are released into the body. The effect of these hormones causes an increase in mental distress and instability in the mind, and it becomes tough to overcome these. When someone you know is in grief, their professional life also takes a hit as they are not able to concentrate on their work. However, if you can take some thoughtful actions, it can offer relief to your friend or relative.

Below we have some meaningful things you can do for someone who is grieving, to not only relieve their pain but to also help them lead a normal life.

Stay in Touch With the Person

It is a bitter fact that nothing in the world can take the place of the person who is no more. However, your support and support from friends and family can help your friend overcome this indispensable loss to an extent. The follow-up period after the death of a loved one is a crucial time. During this phase, the bereaved requires the utmost care and attention of their close ones. Therefore, you can try staying connected to them through frequent phone calls and visits. This will help them share thoughts and also divert their mind temporarily.

Keep the Person Physically Active

Help your friend stay physically active by involving them in some activities or tasks. For example, to divert their mind, you can make them participate in household chores such as grocery shopping, cooking, and pet care. Playing outdoor sports with them such as basketball, cricket, etc., can also keep them fit and active. Yoga and meditation are other effective ways to help declutter your friend’s mind and cope in adverse situations.

Connect the Person With Nature

Nature and fresh air revitalize and calm a person. Taking your buddy outside the house for a long walk or a long drive can ease their feeling of isolation and sadness. Besides, activities such as gardening and watering the plants also soothe their mind and generate positive energy.

Help to Commemorate the Deceased

Memorialize the person who is no more. You can make him write a poem in memory of the deceased or even get a photograph of them together framed. This reflects the love and affection towards the deceased and helps your pal and their relatives recall the good memories they shared.

Listen More, Talk Less

The loss of a loved one leaves people devastated. Sometimes the most meaningful thing you can do for someone who is grieving is give them complete space to talk freely and express their thoughts. All your pal needs is a patient and calm listener. Sometimes just listening can provide significant relief to the individual.

Deliver Some Thoughtful Tokens

Losing a person close to your heart is the hardest thing to overcome. Nothing can compensate for it. However, sending some thoughtful tokens to your friend in the form of food or flowers along with a message note showing care and love depicts emotional gestures for them.

 

If you want to know more about meaningful things you can do for someone who is grieving, contact our experts at Found and Sons Funeral Chapels and Cremation Service.

12 Ways To Celebrate A Lost Loved One’s Life

A woman holding a photograph of her late husband.

The pain that comes with losing someone is a feeling that never quite goes away. Sometimes, they’re so overwhelming that it makes you feel helpless and lost. Though you can’t bring back your loved ones, you can still honor them by celebrating who they were. We’ve put together a list of 12 ways to celebrate a lost loved one’s life — one for each month of the year.

 

1. Find a Memento 

One of the best ways to remember someone is to hold on to something that belonged to them. It could be a letter, jewelry that you associate with them, a beloved jacket, or even a favorite book.

Every time you look at this memento, you can recall cherished memories and celebrate your loved one’s life. 

 

2. Memorial Jewelry

During the Victorian era, the concept of memorial jewelry used to be quite popular. Today, you can create jewelry with your loved one’s ashes or even craft an engraved locket with a picture tucked inside. 

 

3. Keep It Framed

Whether it’s a poem, a letter, or even a recipe, framing and hanging up their handwriting is a great way to remember and appreciate the person your loved one was.  

 

4. Imbibe Their Values

Reflect on what made your loved ones special and the values that made them who they were. By adopting these values in yourself, you can continue to carry the legacy of your loved one.  

 

5. Have a Meal with Them

Set a place for your loved ones and sit down to have a meal with them. This could be an excellent opportunity to reminisce and reflect on their lives while also allowing yourself to process your feelings.  

 

6. Achieve a Life Goal

Fulfilling a goal your loved one couldn’t achieve could be a great way to honor them. It doesn’t have to be a big goal and can be something simple, like learning to knit. 

 

7. Do Something They Enjoyed 

Whether it’s listening to their favorite song or visiting a place they frequented, surrounding yourself with something they loved is a wonderful way to honor them.

 

8. Make a Scrapbook

Create a scrapbook to preserve their memories and remember who they were. Feel free to keep adding inside jokes, memorabilia, and more.

 

9. Become a Volunteer

Honor the legacy of your loved one by volunteering at a not-for-profit organization, helping charities raise funds, or even donating. 

 

10. Pay Tribute

Organize an annual event in memory of your lost loved one. This is also a great way to encourage other people to keep them in their thoughts. 

 

11. Hold a Memorial Service

Connect with other people by holding a vigil or planning an online memorial service. This way, you can remember all the different sides of your loved one.

 

12. Write a Poem

They say writing is a powerful tool you can use to process your emotions and express yourself. Your poem doesn’t have to be good or shared with other people; it can just be for you. 

Bear in mind that everybody copes with loss and grief differently. While some of the above methods may work for you, they might not for someone else.

 

We hope this list of 12 ways to celebrate a lost loved one’s life helps you, and always remember that you are not alone. At Found and Sons Funeral Chapels Cremation Service, we offer grief and healing services to help you process your loss. 

How to Manage Grief During the Holidays

Woman holding a photograph of a man.

 

When a loved one passes away, the hole in your heart that developed as a result of that person’s absence becomes substantially more noticeable around the holidays. You may feel unable to process the holiday joy happening all around you and feel guilty if you do start to enjoy yourself. Intellectually, you know that your dearly departed would want you to enjoy yourself, but emotionally you can’t snap out of the sadness and loss. This year, use these tips to help you manage grief during the holidays healthily and respectfully.

 

1. Incorporate the Loved One Into the Celebrations

When someone moves on, they don’t leave our hearts and minds. Feel free to casually, and in a celebratory and positive manner, talk about the deceased at appropriate times. Also, if you had holiday traditions with your loved one, you should maintain those traditions to hold on to their memory.

 

Humorous stories and looking at old pictures can give you the chance to look back at the joyful moments you shared fondly.

 

Read the room as you talk to ensure that you aren’t causing anyone to feel old wounds again, especially if it was a recent loss. If you notice everyone appears comfortable, you can continue as you deem appropriate.

 

2. Express Yourself

It’s not healthy to keep your grief, loneliness, and cynicism inside of yourself boiling up to the point that it explodes.

 

Productively express any influx of emotions. You can write your feelings down in a diary, write a song, paint a picture, or just let yourself cry. When you express your feelings, it releases them from inside of you. Many people feel a sense of relief or a weight removed from their shoulders. Without the heavy emotional baggage, you can allow yourself to replace those negative feelings with new, positive ones.

 

3. Establish a Support System

You probably aren’t the only person missing someone this holiday.

 

Talk to the people around you to find people who can offer emotional support. If possible, create a support system out of people who also loved the same person you did so that you can share stories and relate to each other.

 

Not all of us have the best support system built into the people around us. If that’s the case for you, you can find support in the form of a support group or therapy. Professional grief counselors can teach you specific methods on how to deal with your grief and prescribe medication if the situation caused a hormonal imbalance.

 

You are not alone. Found and Sons Funeral Chapels Cremation Service offers grief and healing services to help you get through the holiday season.

 

Contact a professional counselor today for more information on all of our services, including funeral services and cremation. Taking care of the details will give you more time to celebrate your loved one this holiday season.