Holidays Archives • Blog | Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service

Lessons The Seasons Changing Can Teach Us About Grief

#1: Death is a completely normal part of life

When you look around during winter time, you see death everywhere. Bare trees, animals buried deep in hibernation, and the white snow begins covering everything. As we have learned through the seasons things die but we know that they are reborn into new life. This cycle of life for all of us is natural and we just try to remind ourselves during the worst times, that the winter will end and spring will bring new life.

#2: Resourcing ourselves for gloomier days ahead is natural

When winter is approaching, animals and humans everywhere gather their harvests and store it for the dark, grimmer days to come. We know that the death of the many forms of life that nourish us is coming, and we resource ourselves for it. During darker days we learn to retreat, but the seasons teach us, this too shall pass.

#3: Grief is real, but it will always change forms

When we see the seasons change like we are about too, we see how all the shapes and forms of the cycle. Grief changes forms too. In the beginning, grief might feel like it’s impossible to move past, unable to function. And you might wish that your grief will just go away. Like a leaf falling from a tree, it will die and compost, and it will bring new life.

#4: From our pain and loss, new life can also form

As winter ends and spring approaches, we see that in grief, life can be reborn. This cycle of life for us is natural and we learn that pain and loss can be transformed. This may be hard to think of at the worst and painful time of losing a loved one, but remember their life and let that memory change its form.

For guidance in this difficult time, please reach out to Found and Sons,

www.FoundandSons.com

How to Manage Grief During the Holidays

When a loved one passes away, the hole in your heart that developed as a result of that person’s absence becomes substantially more noticeable around the holidays. You may feel unable to process the holiday joy happening all around you and feel guilty if you do start to enjoy yourself. Intellectually, you know that your dearly departed would want you to enjoy yourself, but emotionally you can’t snap out of the sadness and loss. This year, use these tips to help you manage grief during the holidays healthily and respectfully.

1. Incorporate the Loved One Into the Celebrations

When someone moves on, they don’t leave our hearts and minds. Feel free to casually, and in a celebratory and positive manner, talk about the deceased at appropriate times. Also, if you had holiday traditions with your loved one, you should maintain those traditions to hold on to their memory.

Humorous stories and looking at old pictures can give you the chance to look back at the joyful moments you shared fondly.

Read the room as you talk to ensure that you aren’t causing anyone to feel old wounds again, especially if it was a recent loss. If you notice everyone appears comfortable, you can continue as you deem appropriate.

2. Express Yourself

It’s not healthy to keep your grief, loneliness, and cynicism inside of yourself boiling up to the point that it explodes.

Productively express any influx of emotions. You can write your feelings down in a diary, write a song, paint a picture, or just let yourself cry. When you express your feelings, it releases them from inside of you. Many people feel a sense of relief or a weight removed from their shoulders. Without the heavy emotional baggage, you can allow yourself to replace those negative feelings with new, positive ones.

3. Establish a Support System

You probably aren’t the only person missing someone this holiday.

Talk to the people around you to find people who can offer emotional support. If possible, create a support system out of people who also loved the same person you did so that you can share stories and relate to each other.

Not all of us have the best support system built into the people around us. If that’s the case for you, you can find support in the form of a support group or therapy. Professional grief counselors can teach you specific methods on how to deal with your grief and prescribe medication if the situation caused a hormonal imbalance.

You are not alone. Found and Sons Funeral Chapels Cremation Service offers grief and healing services to help you get through the holiday season.

Contact a professional counselor today for more information on all of our services, including funeral services and cremation. Taking care of the details will give you more time to celebrate your loved one this holiday season.

How to Honor Veterans and Their Families

You might know that November 11th is Veteran’s Day, which is celebrated every year in America to honor those who’ve served their country. But did you know that the entirety of November is also related to veterans? Or, more specifically, their families.

November is Military Family Month—a time to acknowledge and recognize the sacrifices our military families make alongside their veterans. Wondering how to honor our veterans and their families? Below are a few simple things you can do to show your gratitude and support.

Ways to Honor Your Veterans

Thank a Veteran

There are around 19 million veterans in the U.S. right now, and while you can’t thank all of them, you can certainly make the veterans in your life feel appreciated. Even if it’s an active-duty military member you pass on the street, take the time to thank them. You can even send a letter or postcard to a veteran, or if you don’t know one, send it to the closest military installation.

Listen to Their Stories

Being a veteran is something that non-veterans likely won’t understand, but you can still offer to listen. Some veterans might be hesitant to share their stories, especially if they were active in combat. But if a veteran offers to speak, listen. Ask them questions if they’re willing to answer (remember to be sensitive and respectful) and give them your full attention.

Donate

There are several organizations that are dedicated to helping veterans. Check here for some ideas on where you can donate.

Visit a VA Hospital or Senior Living Community

Find out where your nearest VA hospital or senior living community that houses veterans is, and check their policies. If you can, spend a day with a veteran, or attend any events they might have. You can even volunteer at the facility to help.

Ways to Honor Military Families

Veterans deserve an abundance of support, but so do their families. Here are some ways you can show your appreciation this Military Family Month.

Offer Your Time

Military spouses experience a lot of changes and struggles—frequent moves, deployments, caring for their family, and more. So if you can offer your time in any capacity, by babysitting or running errands, it can help give them a breather.

Donate on Their Behalf

Donating to a veterans’ charity on behalf of a military family is a great way to show them that you care and are willing to support them.

Perform a Random Act of Kindness

Take the time out of your day to perform an act of kindness. It can be anonymous, like writing them a thank you note or leaving them a care package. Or, you can thank them publicly on social media and recognize their sacrifice.

Ask Them How You Can Help

The easiest way to know how to help a military family? Ask them what they need, and do your best to provide it, whether it’s a listening ear, help with the chores, or anything else.

You don’t have to wait until November to honor veterans and their families. At Found and Sons Funeral Chapel and Cremation Services, we recognize and are always grateful for the huge sacrifices our veterans make everyday. To learn more, take a look at our Veteran’s Services or contact us today.

When You Lose the Love of Your Life – Is it Too Soon to Move On?

There is an old German proverb that says, “The death of a friend is equivalent to the loss of a limb.” If that’s true, how much more so is the pain after you lose a spouse or partner? The pain is so intense, there is a confirmed phenomenon called the “widowhood effect,” although it applies to both genders. Research done by the Harvard School of Public Health shows there is an increased chance of dying after a spouse dies. The risk is highest within the first three months after their passing – at 66%. Through our work at Found & Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service with the families of Culpeper and Fredericksburg, we know that those who have lost a wife or husband certainly do not need to see any research to understand the kind of pain they have experienced.

This time of year can be especially hard on those who have lost a love. Restaurants crowded with romantic couples and pink boxes of chocolate lining store shelves can serve as a painful reminder of their death, and feelings of intense loneliness can ensue.

Loneliness can often lead to asking whether you can, or should, move on with life and find another mate. This decision is as highly personal and individual as the grief process itself. Men tend to remarry more often and earlier than their female counterparts. Some grief experts recommend that you wait one year before making any big, life-changing decisions, whether it’s getting married again, selling a home, etc.

The most important thing is that you feel ready and that your heart is healed. While you will most likely always miss your spouse, and perhaps love them, it’s important to ask yourself if your heart has room for a new love. If your heart hasn’t healed from your loss, overwhelming feelings of grief and sadness can stand in the way of happiness with your new mate. On the other hand, pursuing a new relationship could be used as a distraction from your pain, but that is never a good foundation for a solid future and will stunt your healing.

While this is a decision that you must make yourself, you could perhaps decide to seek the counsel of family, friends, or a trusted counselor or advisor. Many times, those who are closest to you will have unique insights into where you might be on your grief journey. On the other hand, you do need to tread carefully. Some people, especially children, if you and your spouse had any, can have very strong feelings on the topic. They may feel protective of their parent’s memory, and not want you to fully “move on.”

At the end of the day, you will be the one who needs to decide whether you want to start a new relationship with someone else after the death of a spouse or partner. If you decide you don’t want to begin another relationship, that’s okay! Often, well-meaning friends and family will be concerned that you’re lonely, or not healing, because you choose to remain single. This could not be further from the truth. Many people decide to go solo for their remaining years and are still able to find meaning and purpose through friendships, relationships with family and grandchildren, and civic or religious activities.

At Found & Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, we want you to know that our caring team is always here for you throughout your grief process – whether it’s two weeks after your loved one’s funeral service, or two years. We can help connect you with local support groups and community programs that can help you process your feelings and perhaps even help you determine if it’s time to move on. We also offer counseling services, a grief library, and our online, interactive grief support, Guiding Grief. Reach out to us, or access our online grief resource to get started.

Surviving the Winter Blues

Surviving the Winter Blues

Even living in the beautiful state of Virginia, the winter months can get a little hard and maybe even depressing, as the days get shorter and the temperature dips. This can be even more true if you’ve recently lost a loved one.

But it is important to try and keep your spirits up, and there are many ways you can do so, even amid your grief. As much as you can, try get outside and get a little sunshine and exercise. If it’s simply too chilly for you, invite a friend or family member over to watch old movies or play a favorite board game. Ask your grandkids over to make your favorite oatmeal raisin cookies or build a fire to roast marshmallows.

When you’re tempted to dwell on the winter blues or on your loss, try to focus on all of the wonderful things you have in your life – it is true what they say, no matter how bad it gets, there is always something to be thankful for. A lot of the families we serve find that a gratitude journal becomes helpful to them in darker moments.

Also, don’t negate the healing power of laughter. Go online and watch funny cat videos if that gives you a chuckle!

Finally, continually make plans and schedule outings for yourself. As busy holiday schedules are ramping down here in the New Year, it’s the perfect time to start a weekly poker game with your neighbors or host a dinner party with friends every Monday evening. This will also give you something to look forward to, and you won’t find yourself sitting home alone. And you never know – that friend or neighbor might be having some winter blues themselves. Your invitation could be just what the doctor ordered.

Most of all, remember you’re never alone in your loneliness or grief. Here at Found and Sons, we are always here for you. We believe that our care for you and responsibility to you does not end when the funeral service is over. We can offer you a number resources for emotional support. Sometimes, a family member needs a bit of extra support. We can make referrals to support groups and grief counselors to provide the help they need.

Remember: when you choose Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, you will always have a friend in Culpeper and Fredericksburg.