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Funeral Etiquette

When attending a funeral, being aware of proper funeral etiquette will help you to navigate the event in a way that conveys respect and care. Following these etiquette guidelines will also help you feel the most comfortable and allow you to offer the most support to those grieving at the funeral you are attending.

Attire Etiquette

While black is traditionally the most common color to wear to funerals, there are other options for traditional funerals. Neutral colors are also acceptable, such as gray, dark blue, or brown. Children generally do not wear black, but can wear one of these neutral, or muted colors.

You will also want to take the family’s religious and cultural customs into consideration. In certain cultures, bright colors are both acceptable and common. The family may actually request that people wear certain colors, such as the favorite color of the deceased.

In most cases, it is not appropriate to wear a hat, or athletic shoes. Jewelry and accessories should be kept minimal and tasteful. The main idea is not to wear anything that will draw a lot of attention to yourself. The way you dress for a funeral should be understated and tasteful to convey respect.

Important Notes for Arrival

It is very important to be on time and enter the funeral location quietly. If you must arrive late, it is important to wait until the processional has begun to enter. If possible, it is best to enter from the side aisles, not the center aisle. Seats toward the front are reserved for close family and friends, so this should be taken into consideration when choosing where to sit.

Phone Usage

It is important to completely silence or turn off cell phones or devices which might make noise during the service. Phones should also remain out of sight during the service. Being present and giving eye contact to those speaking during a funeral conveys respect. Photos should not be taken during a funeral service. It is appropriate to take photos after the funeral, outside of the service, but it is important to be mindful of those grieving who may be around you.

Children

A common question is whether to bring children to a funeral. The first thing to consider is whether the child will be comfortable attending. The child’s age and temperament should be taken into consideration. Younger children who may have trouble sitting still and staying quiet should probably not attend a funeral service. Some families choose to bring a babysitter to watch children in another room, so that they can then participate in any post-funeral activities.

Older children who attend should sit closest to those they feel most comfortable with, such as a parent who can comfort them.

Comforting the Mourning

Two rules for comforting those mourning is to acknowledge their pain, and to keep it short and simple when offering words of condolence. Show care without trying to put yourself in their shoes. People deal with grief in many different ways, so never say, “I know how you feel.” Instead, you could say, “This must be really hard.” It is also nice to share what the deceased meant to you personally. Sharing a short, fond memory can be a comfort to those grieving. It is important to take your cue from the mourning. If they are at a place where they are sharing memories, smiling, and laughing, then it would be appropriate to share light or humorous stories. If the grieving are visibly hurting, short words of comfort and support are preferable.

Flowers & Gifts

Sending flowers to the loved ones of the deceased can be a wonderful way to express sympathy. The most appropriate place to send the flowers is to the recipient’s home. Generally, the family will decide on flowers for the funeral service. There can be exceptions to this, as sometimes family appreciates additional arrangements to help beautify the church or space where the funeral is being held. If you are unsure, send them directly to the recipient’s home. Sending flowers can also be an especially nice gesture if you are unable to attend the funeral. Gifts are also a way to support the family and let them know you care. Ideas include gift baskets of food, memorial gifts, and gift cards for meal delivery services.

Check Back In

In the days, weeks, and months following a funeral, the grieving often feel alone and isolated. People slowly stop calling, bringing meals, etc. It is a nice idea to check back in after some time has passed. Perhaps a month after the service, a phone call, handwritten card, or visit can be a nice way to show support and care.

Following these guidelines for funeral etiquette will help you to honor the deceased and show respect to the mourning. At Found and Sons Funeral Chapels Cremation Service, we want to support you during this difficult time. Please reach out if you

What To Consider When Choosing Between Cremation or Burial

When planning ahead for end-of-life preparations, or making arrangements following the loss of a loved one, many families struggle with choosing between cremation or a traditional burial. Here are some things to consider that may help make the choice easier.

The Difference Between Cremation and Burial

Both cremation and burial practices have been in existence for centuries as a method of final disposition. During the cremation process, a body is incinerated until all that remains is ash. Whereas during a burial, the body is allowed to naturally decompose over time. Both are common and safe methods of handling remains.

With burials, the body may be interred in the ground or entombed in a mausoleum above ground. Bodies are embalmed before being placed in a casket. At Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, we require caskets to be enclosed in a burial vault to prevent the ground from sinking.

Cremated remains, on the other hand, can be kept in an urn, scattered in a way that is meaningful to the deceased, placed in a columbarium, interred in the ground, or entombed in a mausoleum. Some religious practices may require that the cremated remains are kept together and stored or displayed in an approved location.

Both cremation and burial processes can take place at any time. For example, shortly after the deceased has passed away, after a traditional funeral service has taken place, or before a memorial service.

Consider the Deceased’s Wishes and Religious Affiliation

The choice between cremation or burial is often deeply personal. For example, some families prefer to choose burial out of a desire to show respect for their loved one’s body. Other families feel that allowing the body to decay has the opposite impact. This is why making pre-planning arrangements and having these conversations with family members is often so important.

Many religions have differing views on cremation and burials. The Roman Catholic Church has stated that bodies may be cremated, but the ashes must be buried in a cemetery or sacred location. Some Christian denominations (incl. Baptist and the Eastern Orthodox Church) do not support cremation, while others such as the Methodist Seventh-Day Adventists and Lutheran churches do. Judaism has traditionally recommended against cremation, although some sects have relaxed their stance over the years.

Alternatively, cremation is a required practice for some Eastern religions (Hinduism and Buddhism). Sikhs tend to prefer cremation, but do not prohibit burial, while Muslim cultures forbid cremation.

Additional Factors to Consider

Religious beliefs and personal preference are perhaps some of the most important things to consider when choosing between cremation and burial. However, there are other things to keep in mind as well, such as cost and environmental impact. Cremation is typically a more cost-effective service compared to burial.

When it comes to the environment, there are different points of view. The cremation process results in high emissions; however, burials require a significantly larger footprint of land.

Still struggling to choose? We understand, and we’re here to help. Our professional team can walk you through the pre-planning process, one step at a time, and help you choose the options that work best for you. Visit our website to learn more about our services, or call (800) 207-3530 for one-on-one assistance.

How To Write A Memorable Obituary

An obituary is a touching way to announce the death of a loved one and celebrate their life’s accomplishments. However, many family members find it difficult to write an obituary, especially if grief is creating writer’s block. Here are some tips that can help make the process smooth and ensure that your loved one’s memory is celebrated.

Set the Tone

There are many things to do when a loved one passes away and it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Pre-planning the funeral details can help alleviate some of the stress associated with loss. Grief support resources can help family members understand and process emotions.

Before you sit down to write the obituary, take time to set the tone. Do your best to remove any distractions, light your favorite candle if you’d like, and spend some time in meditation or prayer before you begin. This can help create space for meaningful reflection rather than checking off an item on the to-do list. Typing the obituary helps prevent any mistakes during posting, but many people choose to write the first draft by hand.

Start With the Basics

An obituary typically starts by listing the basic information about the deceased, such as when they were born, the date they passed, and any other relevant biographical information (Where did they live? Where did they go to school? What was their career like?).

Include a list of surviving family members, as well as any notable predeceased family members. You don’t need to include the entire family tree, but these people should be listed by name:

Parents
Their spouse/partner
Any children or step-children—along with their spouse/partner’s names in brackets, if applicable
Siblings, including half- and step-siblings
Grandchildren and great-grandchildren
Surviving in-laws, if relevant

If you’d like to highlight any additional family members, you can group them together by relationship—such as “five nieces, and two nephews.” People with very large families may choose to do this for grandchildren and great-grandchildren as well.

You may also want to include any notable information, such as the date of the service, a memorial donation fund, or anything else you’d like the public to know.

Add Some of Their Personality

Personality quirks are often what make your loved one who they are, so don’t be afraid to showcase that in their obituary. Make it personal by sharing their passions and hobbies. Don’t just focus on what they did in their life, talk about what their life was like, too. Be mindful of the length, however—many newspaper publications charge by the word. You may want to have a formal announcement for the paper and a more personal obituary for the funeral service.

Don’t Forget to Proofread

As with any important writing, don’t forget to proofread! Have someone else look it over, or run it through an online spelling and grammar program such as Grammarly.

At Found and Sons Funeral Chapel and Cremation Services, our goal is to help you navigate the end of your loved one’s life. We strive to make it a time of reflection, appreciation, and celebration, so that we may help you honor and preserve your loved one’s memory. Visit our website to learn more about our services or call (800) 207-3530 today.

What is Included in a Funeral Service?

Sadly, there will be a time where most of us have to deal with burying a loved one and coordinating their funeral. A funeral service helps families and loved ones honor the memories of the deceased and provide support to each other. Planning the service can be an emotional and exhausting experience, but knowing the process and understanding what it involves can make it a little less difficult. Read on to know what is included in a funeral service.

What Is Included?

Planning a funeral is a highly personal process. Your decisions will be shaped by your life experiences, relationship to the deceased, what the deceased wanted, what you can afford, and various other factors. Typically, a funeral service will include the following:

Placement and writing of an obituary in a local paper.
Use of the funeral home for a service.
Preparation of the body for burial. This includes embalming and clothing the deceased.
Viewing service.
Transportation services from the funeral home to the cemetery. In some cases, this may involve coordinating with local authorities to plan the traffic routes.
Burial at the gravesite.

These are typical costs, but there are often optional costs, such as purchasing a tombstone from the funeral home directly and coordinating an after-funeral event. There may also be an extended graveside service.

Cremation vs. Burial

When planning the funeral, it’s important to decide the form of final body disposition. Knowing the options can help you make an informed decision. Burial and cremation are the most commonly used methods.

With a burial, your loved one is embalmed, placed in a casket, and buried in a cemetery plot. This involves digging the grave, lowering the casket, and purchasing a tombstone.

In cremation, your loved ones’ remains are incinerated, and the ashes are returned to you. You can spread the ashes in your loved ones’ favorite place or press them into a specific object or item, like jewelry, to feel closer to your loved one.

Burials typically involve more work and are thus more expensive, as they often involve a graveside service and ceremony.

Different Definitions

The most important thing to realize when preparing for a funeral is that different homes may have different definitions of what is included in a funeral service. In most cases, you might be surprised by the costs, but the burial of a loved one is a terrible moment. Make sure you have a good idea of what you are purchasing before signing any contract. At Found and Sons, we present our customers with an itemized contract before they finalize any plans. We know that losing a loved one is extremely painful. That’s why we try to make it easier for people to plan and execute a funeral that will honor the deceased.

If you live in Culpeper or Fredericksburg, VA, and are looking for a compassionate, family-run business to manage your funeral service, consider Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service. At Found and Sons, we can coordinate all aspects of the funeral, everything from the obituary to the final goodbye. Find more information today by visiting our website or calling us at 1-800-207-3530.

Thanking Our Veterans

Veterans Day

Veterans Day is our day to give thanks to the men and women who have served in the military. On this upcoming Veterans Day, we hope that you join us in taking a moment to reflect on the sacrifices veterans have made and thank a veteran in your community.

A History – Celebration and Tribute

World War I – known at the time as “The Great War” – officially ended when the Treaty of Versailles was signed on June 28, 1919, in the Palace of Versailles outside the town of Versailles, France. However, fighting ceased seven months earlier when an armistice or temporary cessation of hostilities, between the Allied nations and Germany went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. For that reason, November 11, 1918, is generally regarded as the end of “the war to end all wars.”

In November 1919, President Wilson proclaimed November 11 as the first commemoration of Armistice Day with the following words: “To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations…”

Veterans Day continues to be observed on November 11, regardless of what day of the week on which it falls. The restoration of the observance of Veterans Day to November 11 not only preserves the historical significance of the date, but helps focus attention on the important purpose of Veterans Day: A celebration to honor America’s veterans for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good.

Ways to Show Appreciation

The sense of pride in all veterans is tantamount to the preservation of our freedoms and way of life. Thank a veteran every day, not just on Veterans Day.” Here are some ways you can say “thanks.”

Attend services and observances in your area
Donate – There are plenty of organizations that offer all manner of support, services, and appreciation for our service members. To get a few ideas for donations, you can click here.
Fly the American flag
Ask someone about their service
Write – If you know a veteran, write a simple postcard or e-card that recognizes them on Veterans Day. Small acts of recognizing someone’s service, even anonymously, are appreciated.
Spend time with a Veteran outdoors – Being outside helps improve physical and mental health, boosts emotional well-being, and is a great way to celebrate the day with a veteran

Veteran’s Services

We truly believe that the men and women who answered our nation’s call embody the ideals Americans hold so dear. Because they have proven their devotion to their fellow citizens and to a grateful nation, we all owe them the same respect and devotion in return. We are proud to honor those who have served. To learn more about Veteran’s Services or to see if you or a Veteran you know is eligible, click here.