How To Write A Memorable Obituary

An obituary is a touching way to announce the death of a loved one and celebrate their life’s accomplishments. However, many family members find it difficult to write an obituary, especially if grief is creating writer’s block. Here are some tips that can help make the process smooth and ensure that your loved one’s memory is celebrated.

Set the Tone

There are many things to do when a loved one passes away and it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Pre-planning the funeral details can help alleviate some of the stress associated with loss. Grief support resources can help family members understand and process emotions.

Before you sit down to write the obituary, take time to set the tone. Do your best to remove any distractions, light your favorite candle if you’d like, and spend some time in meditation or prayer before you begin. This can help create space for meaningful reflection rather than checking off an item on the to-do list. Typing the obituary helps prevent any mistakes during posting, but many people choose to write the first draft by hand.

Start With the Basics

An obituary typically starts by listing the basic information about the deceased, such as when they were born, the date they passed, and any other relevant biographical information (Where did they live? Where did they go to school? What was their career like?).

Include a list of surviving family members, as well as any notable predeceased family members. You don’t need to include the entire family tree, but these people should be listed by name:

Parents
Their spouse/partner
Any children or step-children—along with their spouse/partner’s names in brackets, if applicable
Siblings, including half- and step-siblings
Grandchildren and great-grandchildren
Surviving in-laws, if relevant

If you’d like to highlight any additional family members, you can group them together by relationship—such as “five nieces, and two nephews.” People with very large families may choose to do this for grandchildren and great-grandchildren as well.

You may also want to include any notable information, such as the date of the service, a memorial donation fund, or anything else you’d like the public to know.

Add Some of Their Personality

Personality quirks are often what make your loved one who they are, so don’t be afraid to showcase that in their obituary. Make it personal by sharing their passions and hobbies. Don’t just focus on what they did in their life, talk about what their life was like, too. Be mindful of the length, however—many newspaper publications charge by the word. You may want to have a formal announcement for the paper and a more personal obituary for the funeral service.

Don’t Forget to Proofread

As with any important writing, don’t forget to proofread! Have someone else look it over, or run it through an online spelling and grammar program such as Grammarly.

At Found and Sons Funeral Chapel and Cremation Services, our goal is to help you navigate the end of your loved one’s life. We strive to make it a time of reflection, appreciation, and celebration, so that we may help you honor and preserve your loved one’s memory. Visit our website to learn more about our services or call (800) 207-3530 today.

An Interview with Monument Counselor, Jeremy Grimes

Setting a Memory in Stone

Having a flat grave marker or monument created are two ways to represent a loved one’s final resting place. Although with more people preferring to be cremated, not everyone finds it necessary to have a flat grave marker or monument made. For those who are interested in these options, here is a brief introduction to grave markers and monuments.

Grave markers are flat bronze plaques that are installed on a granite stone base for the purpose of identifying the deceased. Monuments are upright for the same identification purpose. There are many different styles and types of flat grave markers and monuments available, with different designs, granite options, and personalization options. Because monuments provide more space, more can be personalized in terms of shape, size, and inscription. Whether you choose one over the other, it is a sure way to show that the deceased was loved and continues to be remembered.

Monument Counselor of Our Fredericksburg Chapel, Jeremy Grimes

Jeremy joined our Found and Sons chapel of Fredericksburg in 2016. Since 1997, he’s worked as a Funeral Assistant, Crematory Operator, and Monument Counselor. He is a lifelong resident of the Fredericksburg area and currently lives in Spotsylvania County. He is an avid mountain biker and enjoys agriculture as a hobby. The most important part of his life is his son, Mason.

How long have you been a Monument Counselor at Found and Sons?

I have been helping families create monuments and memorials for just over 20 years and now. Since being with Found and Sons for the past 4 years, I take pride in sitting down with families to design a monument that they are happy with. Providing families with a beautiful monument can also help with their grieving.

What type of monuments do you tend to recommend to families and why?

I always present the most cost-effective option first so I tend to recommend the Blue Ridge and Eagle Blue.

What’s the most rewarding part of the process when helping families with their monuments?

I enjoy passing by and walking through the cemeteries. I have always admired the art and hard work that went into the making of these monuments and markers. Since starting in this line of work, I can now say that I’ve helped with the making and placing of some of these monuments.

What is one common misconception that families have when it comes to having a monument made?

I think the most common misconception is that families think that they can’t come back to the drawing board when designing a monument. Families are always welcome to change what they want in the layout multiple times before reaching a final design. Another misconception is that we as Monument Counselors have to stick to what is available in the books or brochures when we present options to families. We can create custom monuments as well. Almost any sketch can be made into a memorial and almost any picture can be etched or sandblasted.

If there was one thing that you could tell a family about monuments, what would it be?

I would encourage families to think about what they would like to express and accomplish on the memorial. It’s wise to visit the cemetery to see if there is a specific style, color, or size to match up to or replicate.

Is there anything else that you would like to inform people about?

Monuments and bronze plaques have often been very popular for businesses that wish to memorialize an employee. Stone benches are also a popular option as you can engrave a company logo or a message that can be very eye-catching on sidewalks or in green areas.

Because you help so many families in creating unique monuments, what is one monument that has been of significant importance, and why?

My cousin’s monument from design to the installation in the cemetery was particularly important (see Brian Kearns’ monument below). His family decided to go with a rough, rock pitch border on the sides and polished midsection of the Die (stone above the base), with his picture placed in a recessed oval. I believe that adding a porcelain picture to any monument really ties in all of the other elements that are featured. I chose to make the top of the monument a bit taller than others so that it stood out in the cemetery. In my opinion, his monument looks like it could be stacked of multiple pieces but it is only composed of two. The piece also has ivy carved into it, which gives it a contemporary look with a bit of old style.

Installing this monument was an important task, being that it was the first row in this particular cemetery. I needed to set the tone for how straight the line of monuments would be for future headstones. The end result looks great and I’m proud to be able to be there for my family and create a memorial that shows who my cousin was.

It’s an honor to help all the families that come in to explore memorial options. It’s just more personal when it is my family I am able to help. My Grandmother’s marker was important to me going from a single bronze marker to including my Grandfather’s on a companion granite piece.

Pictured left, Bronze Grave Marker of Clifton and Dorothy Kearns at Sunset Memorial Gardens in Fredericksburg, VA.

What’s the most elaborate monument that you were able to assist a family with?

The most elaborate monument was one with a base of 80 inches that consisted of 2 wings with a plinth (base) in between the wings and vase set on top of the plinth. The family also asked for ceramic photos to be placed on the monument as well. It turned out beautifully and the family was more than happy with the final product.

When you aren’t assisting with families or helping families with monuments, what do you enjoy doing in your free time?

I am an avid outdoors person. I’m usually out working on my garden and riding ATV’s with my son, Mason.

Do you work closely with the VFW, American Legion, Sheriff’s Departments, and Cemeteries?

We work with Spotsylvania Sheriff’s Office, Fredericksburg Police Dept, and the Rotary Club. To see the monument that we created for the Fallen Fredericksburg Officer Memorial, you can click here.

What is the best piece of advice that was ever given to you? What is one quote that you have lived by?

The best piece of advice that was ever given to me was to do a job that I would be proud of. I get that gratification as a Monument Counselor at Found and Sons. A quote that inspired me is “Leave things better than you find them” by Robert Baden-Powell

To see more monuments on our website or to contact us, click here. We look forward to assisting you in creating a monument that best represents your loved one.

Granite Stone Options for Monuments

An Interview with Monument Counselor, Damian Smith

Setting a Memory in Stone

Monument Counselor of Our Culpeper Chapel, Damian Smith

Damian has been in the funeral industry since 2010. He joined Found and Sons Culpeper Chapel in November 2014 as a Funeral Assistant, Crematory Operator, and Monument Counselor. He is a native of Richmond and currently resides in Madison County with his wife, Trinity, and son, Noah. Damian is a funeral service intern with hopes of completing his funeral service education in the near future.

How long have you been a Monument Counselor at Found and Sons?

I began my career in the funeral industry in November 2010. My first 4 years were in Louisa and I have been with Found and Sons close to 6 years. I have been a Monument Counselor for about 4 years.

What type of monuments do you tend to recommend to families and why?

All of the monuments we sell are granite, but the finishes vary. The finish that I recommend the most is a polished face because they are the standard base. That finish helps protect and preserve the stone over time and environmental changes.

What’s the most rewarding part of the process when helping families with their monuments?

The most rewarding part of the process is when I am able to meet with the family to learn more about them and what their loved one enjoyed in life. Once I have that information, I then create a proof of the monument to share with the family. It’s nice to see a family’s reaction when they are satisfied with the proof. It’s rewarding to capture the essence of a person and create something that will last for years to come.

What’s the most elaborate monument that you were able to assist a family with?

My favorite monument that I’ve had the honor to work on is the monument that I made for Cynthia Godfrey. I arrived at the home of Cynthia Godfrey after her passing, and quickly noticed a beautiful wall border of trees and leaves that Cynthia had painted. That inspired the design of the monument. I presented the proof to her daughter, Christi, and she loved it. I’m glad that I was able to assist by incorporating the design into the monument.

What is one common misconception that families have when it comes to having a monument made?

A lot of the families do not realize there are rules and regulations at each cemetery with regards to size, height, placement, and what is on the monument. I often find that they are unaware of how creative we can be when designing the monument.

If there was one thing that you could tell a family about monuments, what would it be?

One thing I would like to emphasize to families is the importance of patience. When ordering a monument, there is a turn around time of 3 months from the date it is approved. If you are in a position to plan ahead in regard to designing and ordering a monument, then I would encourage you to do so.

Is there anything else that you would like to inform people about?

Monuments are not limited to gravesites. Monuments can also be placed at residential entrances, parks, business storefronts, possibilities are endless. Come meet with me and together we can think outside the box to create something unique to you or your business.

Do you work closely with the VFW, American Legion, Sheriff’s Departments, and Cemeteries?

I work closely with the VFW, American Legion, Sheriff’s Departments, and Cemeteries on both a personal and professional level. Found and Sons donates to all of these organizations. Most recently I created a monument for Emergency Services. We are working closely with the VFW on a monument for the near future.

When you aren’t assisting with families or helping families with monuments, what do you enjoy doing in your free time?

I spend time with my family. Metal detecting is my most enjoyable hobby when I am away from work. I look forward to finding relics and researching the objects to learn more about them and that time period.

What is one quote that you have lived by?

“Treat others as you would like to be treated.” I may not always follow through, but it is something that I try to live by daily.

To see more monuments by Damian on our website or to set up an appointment, click here. We look forward to assisting you in creating a monument that best represents your loved one.

A beautiful customized monument that is set in Fairview Cemetery in Culpeper, VA.

Granite Stone Options for Monuments

Honoring The Fallen Officers of Fredericksburg, VA

In the Fall of 2017, Fredericksburg Police Chief David Nye came to Found and Sons of Fredericksburg to inquire about have a memorial built in honor of the fallen police officers of the Fredericksburg Police Department. Chief Nye and Captain Purcell were hands on and involved throughout the almost 8 month process. Monument Counselor and Funeral Assistant, Jeremy Grimes, assisted with the design of the memorial and arranged for the foundation, walkway, landscaping, and delivery.

The names of people and businesses that donated to the cost of the memorial.

The monument and its 7 pieces weighed close to 4 tons. The right and left wings and 4 bases were made out of Rockville granite while India Black was used for the central piece. The height of the monument is 9 feet and it is 12 feet long.

Companies instrumental in bringing the project to a successful conclusion were Christiana Karsky with Cold Springs Granite for the monument fabrication and delivery, Chris Iannarelli with All Seasons Landscaping and Irrigation for the foundation installation, walkway and accent lighting, Paul with Coleman Motor Company for offloading the delivered parts of the monument and later hoisting each piece in place, Burt Bugoney engineering for the required structural engineering of the foundation, DJ Smith of DJ’s Stoneworks and Engraving for engraving walkway bricks, and Riverside Bricks for getting the bricks onsite.

Pictured from left to right: Detective Alexandra Tittle, Officer Jennifer Moore, Officer Joseph Young, Officer Donald “Lee” Ridenour, Sergeant Rashawn Cowles

Pictured from left to right: Captain Purcell, Funeral Director Raymond Rhodes, Funeral Assistant and Monument Counselor Jeremy Grimes, Funeral Director Julie Found, Chief Nye

It was an honor for us to be a part of this project. We would like to thank Chief Nye and Captain Purcell for contacting us and trusting us in helping create something monumental for the town of Fredericksburg. This memorial shall stand to honor the fallen officers of Fredericksburg for years to come.

Tips for Writing a Meaningful Obituary

American playwright and novelist Thornton Wilder once said, “The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude.” Of course, grief is inescapable, and a part of the normal human experience after death occurs. One way we can express our gratitude to our loved ones is by preparing a farewell that captures their essence and communicates what they meant to us and to the world. The team at Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service has been honored to do that for our neighbors in Culpeper and Fredericksburg for more than 80 years.

One of the oldest forms of paying tribute to a loved one is the obituary, which can be traced historically back to the time of the ancient Romans. While it has been called a number of different things throughout the centuries, the modern death announcement became known as an “obituary” around the 18^th century. Obituaries have undergone a lot of changes throughout the years. For example, 20 years ago we would primarily read obituaries in the local newspaper, whereas now, online memorials are more popular. Publishing online is preferred because loved ones can edit content, including video and photo slideshows, and share easily and widely on social media networks. Families use obituaries to tell their loved one’s unique life story and to communicate key information about the visitation, service, or reception. Friends and family members can also leave online condolences that appear instantly.

The ability to share a loved one’s obituary so widely increases the importance of creating a tribute that is accurate, vivid, and compelling. It’s a significant responsibility, but at Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, our caring staff has the knowledge and experience to help you with this. We realize writing an obituary can seem daunting, especially while dealing with the numerous decisions and tasks that must be made in connection to the funeral service. At a time when grief can overwhelm, we are here to help you find the words you want to say.

As you’re preparing to write an obituary, consider these tips to help you get started:

Keep it simple

An obituary can be many things: a notice of death, a story of life, a family record, a request for memorial donations, a source of information about funeral service, and a thank you to special people, institutions or groups who provided help and comfort. It is also a defining statement about the person who has died, so accuracy is crucial. If you are struggling with what information to include, we can offer step-by-step guidance, so you convey your loved one’s personality and contributions in a meaningful way.

Review the obituary to catch misspellings and verify facts

Too often, errors slip by – names are misspelled, dates are incorrect, specifics are overlooked – which is why it is essential to have a number of people proofread before publication. Our caring team, available at our locations in Culpeper County, will make sure to choose appropriate phrasing and confirm correct information.

Take care when selecting what to highlight

Key points in an obituary include childhood, education, career, military service, hobbies and accomplishments. These details serve as a reflection of your loved one and present an opportunity to let his or her personality shine on paper. In many cases, an obituary is the only article ever written about a person’s life and may be the only record of existence that remains centuries later. We realize how important this is, and that’s why we post obituaries on our website free of charge for families we serve. Our online obituaries also provide links to send sympathy flowers and the ability to light a memory candle.

During this difficult time, please remember that our compassionate staff Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service and is here for you with advice, comfort and expertise. Reach out to us today.