An Interview with Monument Counselor, Jeremy Grimes

Setting a Memory in Stone

Having a flat grave marker or monument created are two ways to represent a loved one’s final resting place. Although with more people preferring to be cremated, not everyone finds it necessary to have a flat grave marker or monument made. For those who are interested in these options, here is a brief introduction to grave markers and monuments.

Grave markers are flat bronze plaques that are installed on a granite stone base for the purpose of identifying the deceased. Monuments are upright for the same identification purpose. There are many different styles and types of flat grave markers and monuments available, with different designs, granite options, and personalization options. Because monuments provide more space, more can be personalized in terms of shape, size, and inscription. Whether you choose one over the other, it is a sure way to show that the deceased was loved and continues to be remembered.

Monument Counselor of Our Fredericksburg Chapel, Jeremy Grimes

Jeremy joined our Found and Sons chapel of Fredericksburg in 2016. Since 1997, he’s worked as a Funeral Assistant, Crematory Operator, and Monument Counselor. He is a lifelong resident of the Fredericksburg area and currently lives in Spotsylvania County. He is an avid mountain biker and enjoys agriculture as a hobby. The most important part of his life is his son, Mason.

How long have you been a Monument Counselor at Found and Sons?

I have been helping families create monuments and memorials for just over 20 years and now. Since being with Found and Sons for the past 4 years, I take pride in sitting down with families to design a monument that they are happy with. Providing families with a beautiful monument can also help with their grieving.

What type of monuments do you tend to recommend to families and why?

I always present the most cost-effective option first so I tend to recommend the Blue Ridge and Eagle Blue.

What’s the most rewarding part of the process when helping families with their monuments?

I enjoy passing by and walking through the cemeteries. I have always admired the art and hard work that went into the making of these monuments and markers. Since starting in this line of work, I can now say that I’ve helped with the making and placing of some of these monuments.

What is one common misconception that families have when it comes to having a monument made?

I think the most common misconception is that families think that they can’t come back to the drawing board when designing a monument. Families are always welcome to change what they want in the layout multiple times before reaching a final design. Another misconception is that we as Monument Counselors have to stick to what is available in the books or brochures when we present options to families. We can create custom monuments as well. Almost any sketch can be made into a memorial and almost any picture can be etched or sandblasted.

If there was one thing that you could tell a family about monuments, what would it be?

I would encourage families to think about what they would like to express and accomplish on the memorial. It’s wise to visit the cemetery to see if there is a specific style, color, or size to match up to or replicate.

Is there anything else that you would like to inform people about?

Monuments and bronze plaques have often been very popular for businesses that wish to memorialize an employee. Stone benches are also a popular option as you can engrave a company logo or a message that can be very eye-catching on sidewalks or in green areas.

Because you help so many families in creating unique monuments, what is one monument that has been of significant importance, and why?

My cousin’s monument from design to the installation in the cemetery was particularly important (see Brian Kearns’ monument below). His family decided to go with a rough, rock pitch border on the sides and polished midsection of the Die (stone above the base), with his picture placed in a recessed oval. I believe that adding a porcelain picture to any monument really ties in all of the other elements that are featured. I chose to make the top of the monument a bit taller than others so that it stood out in the cemetery. In my opinion, his monument looks like it could be stacked of multiple pieces but it is only composed of two. The piece also has ivy carved into it, which gives it a contemporary look with a bit of old style.

Installing this monument was an important task, being that it was the first row in this particular cemetery. I needed to set the tone for how straight the line of monuments would be for future headstones. The end result looks great and I’m proud to be able to be there for my family and create a memorial that shows who my cousin was.

It’s an honor to help all the families that come in to explore memorial options. It’s just more personal when it is my family I am able to help. My Grandmother’s marker was important to me going from a single bronze marker to including my Grandfather’s on a companion granite piece.

Pictured left, Bronze Grave Marker of Clifton and Dorothy Kearns at Sunset Memorial Gardens in Fredericksburg, VA.

What’s the most elaborate monument that you were able to assist a family with?

The most elaborate monument was one with a base of 80 inches that consisted of 2 wings with a plinth (base) in between the wings and vase set on top of the plinth. The family also asked for ceramic photos to be placed on the monument as well. It turned out beautifully and the family was more than happy with the final product.

When you aren’t assisting with families or helping families with monuments, what do you enjoy doing in your free time?

I am an avid outdoors person. I’m usually out working on my garden and riding ATV’s with my son, Mason.

Do you work closely with the VFW, American Legion, Sheriff’s Departments, and Cemeteries?

We work with Spotsylvania Sheriff’s Office, Fredericksburg Police Dept, and the Rotary Club. To see the monument that we created for the Fallen Fredericksburg Officer Memorial, you can click here.

What is the best piece of advice that was ever given to you? What is one quote that you have lived by?

The best piece of advice that was ever given to me was to do a job that I would be proud of. I get that gratification as a Monument Counselor at Found and Sons. A quote that inspired me is “Leave things better than you find them” by Robert Baden-Powell

To see more monuments on our website or to contact us, click here. We look forward to assisting you in creating a monument that best represents your loved one.

Granite Stone Options for Monuments

An Interview with Owner & Funeral Director, Scott Found

How long have you been a funeral director?

I have been a licensed FD since 1991 and involved in the funeral business since I was 13 years old.

What led you to this profession?

Following my brother Sam’s footsteps.

What does a typical work day look like for you?

For the past 5 years as an owner, I spend most of my day concerned with the operations of Found and Sons. My main concern is always “is it best for our clients?”. I also try my best to be fair with employees and contractors.

What is the most rewarding part of doing what you do?

As an owner, the most rewarding part of my job is supporting community projects that help the youth, veterans and the elderly. As a Funeral Director, the most rewarding part of my job was knowing that I made a very difficult time easier for a family that was struggling with a loss.

What is one misconception that you think people have about funeral directors?

Funeral Directors can sometimes be thought of as not caring or not emotional. In my experience, nothing could be further from the truth. Do we become desensitized to the acute trauma of death? Yes. But, good funeral directors grieve with you, internally. While we may not have all the outward signs of grief, we feel the pain of each family and we internalize the stories and sadness.

If there is one thing that you could inform people about in regard to this industry, what would it be?

There is nothing wrong with price shopping. In today’s economy, every dollar counts. The best question you can ask a funeral director is: What is the bottom line? Make sure that you are comparing apples to apples as pricing structures can vary from funeral home to funeral home.

What advice would you give someone who is considering becoming a funeral director?

Funeral directing is not your normal profession. Do not expect a 9 – 5 job with weekends off, funeral directors serve those in need 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.

How does being a funeral director play into your life compared to having a “normal” job How do you manage to keep a good balance of work life and personal life?

The hours of a funeral director can make normal life difficult. You have to be prepared to miss important life events in order to serve the community. It took me 25 years to learn how to balance work and personal time, and I’m not sure I have figured it out yet.

What do you enjoy most about working and living/working in the Culpeper? What are some things that you enjoy doing in the area?

The people and the land is what makes the Culpeper area so awesome to work and live. Folks are down to earth and honest for the most part and the country vistas are beyond compare.

Who is one person that inspires you? What is one quote that inspires you? I seek inspiration daily from many places but most importantly from my family. My twins inspire me to be a better father and person every day. My parents provide wise counsel in my ventures as a new dad and as an example of the ups and downs in a marriage and raising a “Found”. My wife, Jennifer provides me with inspiration to keep going when I want to quit or get down. My favorite quote is “The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

An Interview with Funeral Director, Jennifer Found

How long have you been a funeral director? What were you before you became a funeral director?

I became a licensed funeral director in Pennsylvania in 1998 and then Virginia in 1999. It’s all I’ve ever done since I graduated high school in 1993. During the period between college and Mortuary school I worked at an undergarment company called Bestform.

What led you to this profession?

I wanted to be a medical examiner or pathologist at first but during my first semester of college I realized I couldn’t handle 10 years of college and went to a funeral home to try it out and have been doing it ever since.

What is the most rewarding part of doing what you do?

When a family thanks you for all that you’ve done and tells you that you’ve made the process a lot easier than expected.

What does a typical work day look like for you?

There’s no such thing as a typical day, honestly. I could make arrangements at 10:00 AM, embalm at noon then clean the chapel to get ready for a visitation then possibly go on a removal and make arrangements again. If it’s not that, I could sit at my desk catching up on paper work for a solid 8 hours. It’s something different everyday. No service is the same. No families are the same. You have to be good at multi-tasking and talking with people.

What is one misconception that you think people have about funeral directors?

That funeral directors are just directors. People don’t think that we also scrub bathrooms, embalm, put on makeup and casket people. We also put up and take down tents if we need to, mark off graves in the cemeteries, fill in as pallbearers, shovel snow, wash cars, etc.

If there is one thing that you could inform people about in regard to this industry, what would it be?

That funeral directors work long, hard hours. We do this because it is gratifying to help those when they need it most.

What advice would you give someone who is considering becoming a funeral director?

I always encourage everyone to follow their dreams. Educate yourself and just start working part time at a funeral home to get a preview of what your life will be like. It’s a lot of crazy hours and you really have to dedicate yourself to the profession, but it is a very rewarding career.

How does being a funeral director play into your life compared to having a “normal” job How do you manage to keep a good balance of work life and personal life?

It’s very hard to plan things. You just never know what you’ll be doing from one moment to the next. Your emotions get involved and it’s hard to shut things off in your head sometimes. When you wake up in the middle of the night and your singing, “How Great thou Art” in your head, you know it’s time for a mental health day.

What do you enjoy most about living in Culpeper?

I love Culpeper. I really believe this is where I’m meant to be. I love the small town atmosphere and getting to know everyone in the community. What are some things that you enjoy doing in the area? I love taking the kids to the parks, including Mountain Run Lake. I love hiking the beautiful mountains we have like Old Rag and White Oak Falls, and most of all I enjoy eating at all of Culpeper’s fabulous restaurants.

Who is one person that inspires you/what is one quote that inspires you?

My husband inspires me. His positive attitude and great work ethic if the reason this funeral home has done so well. He loves his community and loves to give back to his community and all the family’s we serve. He was and still is my mentor. He taught me everything I know and I am grateful for that.

An Interview with Funeral Director, Tonya Backe

How long have you been a funeral director? What were you before you became a funeral director?

I’ve been a licensed funeral director for two years. Prior to becoming a funeral director, I worked in a local medical office for 28 years.

What led you to this profession?

I was led to the funeral industry through friends that are directors. I was looking for a second career and thought the funeral industry would suit me as I enjoy serving others.

What is the most rewarding part of doing what you do?

The most rewarding part of being a funeral director is when families express their gratitude for all that you’ve done to help pay tribute to their loved one.

What does a typical work day look like for you?

I don’t think there is a “typical” work day for a director. Our industry is so unpredictable. A work day could consist of meeting with families to make funeral arrangements for a death that has occurred, or meeting with families to make pre arrangements for funeral services, perform embalming, preparing for visitations/viewings, etc.

What is one misconception that you think people have about funeral directors?

A typical misconception people have about funeral directors is that directors are mostly introverts that are odd, creepy, and uncaring.

If there is one thing that you could inform people about in regard to this industry, what would it be?

That pre-need arrangements are transferable. If you have made pre-arrangements with a funeral home and decide you would prefer another funeral home to serve you, they can be transferred.

What advice would you give someone who is considering becoming a funeral director?

My advice to someone considering becoming a director would be that this profession can be a very demanding profession with long hours and even sleepless nights, but if your desire is to truly help serve others, this has to be one of the most rewarding careers you could choose.

What advice would you give someone who is considering becoming a funeral director?

The funeral industry is not 9-5; it is 24/7. When you serve a family, it doesn’t begin at 9:00 AM and end at 5:00 PM. It is when they need you. Keeping a good balance of work life and personal life takes a bit of planning. I have to be certain to schedule time off to rejuvenate. That is the key for me to maintain a healthy balance of work and personal life.

What do you enjoy most about working and living and working in the Culpeper area? What are some things that you enjoy doing in the area?

What I enjoy most about working the Culpeper area is that our community is still quaint and although we are ever-growing, we are maintaining a bedroom community. You can still walk down the street and know someone that passes you, be it on the sidewalk or driving on the street. I enjoy the shops on Davis Street and the rich history our county holds.

Who is one person that inspires you? What is one quote that inspires you?

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are” – Theodore Roosevelt

My biggest inspiration are my children. They inspire me to be the best person I can be.

An Interview with Funeral Director, Julie Found

What is your connection to Found and Sons? How long have you been a Funeral Director?

My family started Found and Sons shortly before I was born, so I’ve been around the business my entire life. I have been a licensed funeral director since 2015.

Do you have any early memories of growing up around a funeral home? Any funny stories?

Our first funeral home in Culpeper was in an old manor and we lived on the top floor. As my mother’s favorite story goes, it was one quiet afternoon. My mom and I were in our apartment above the funeral home and Mom had to answer the phone. When she’s done with the call, she turns to look for me, and I had disappeared. I was under 2 years old at the time and my young mother started to panic a little bit. I had somehow gotten out of the apartment, went downstairs to the funeral home, and my mom found me taking a nap in a casket. We played hide and seek a lot in the funeral home, so I guess I was comfortable enough to walk in and take a nap. My mom still loves to tell people that story and it always starts: “I knew Julie was going to be a funeral director when….”

What led you to becoming a funeral director?

Growing up with two funeral director parents, I couldn’t understand why they would want to do this line of work. They actually discouraged me from getting into it because it really is a dedication more than a job. I didn’t really consider it until college. I had spent a few years working part-time for my dad, and I realized I liked to help families. So my sophomore year of college, I switched my major to business and started on this path. My dad wouldn’t let me do my apprenticeship at our business, so I worked for a much larger family-owned firm in Richmond and really learned a lot. I also realized there that I could handle all aspects of the business and I really loved it.

What does a typical work day look like for you?

No two days in this business are exactly alike, because everything is so unpredictable. Typically, when I get into the office, I check my email and other messages, see what needs to happen for the day. Next, I’ll start making my phone calls. Sometimes that means calling a preacher for a service, sometimes touching base with a family who has lost a loved, or following up on things from the day before. Later in the morning, we usually have our first appointment, so I will sit with a family and make arrangements for services, which can take anywhere from an hour to two hours. When I am finished with the family, I have to do all the tasks associated with that family. Sometimes that means embalming their loved one, sometimes it means calling and ordering our flowers, casket/urn, etc. The last thing we typically do is go over the plan for the next day.

What is the most rewarding part of doing what you do?

When we exceed families’ expectations. For most people, coming in to make funeral arrangements or seeing their loved one is the worst day of the their lives. If I can make that time a little more comforting or peaceful, I feel like I’ve done my job. The best part is when a family says “I thought this was going to be horrible, and you made it wonderful”. That really touches my heart and

What is one misconception that you think people may have about funeral directors?

People seem to think that funeral directors are like you see on TV – morbid, dark, kind of scary, but I don’t think we are like that at all. Funeral directors come in all different forms, just like any other job. We are actually quite compassionate, caring and dedicated people.

If there is one thing that you could inform people about in this field, what would it be?

How rewarding it really is to be a funeral director. Most days I feel like I’ve made a person’s awful day a little better, and that feels very good.

Typically, Funeral Directors have been a male dominated field, what’s it like being a female in the industry?

Even though it is 2019 and we have females in every workforce imaginable, it is still a little difficult to be a funeral director in this field. Especially being young, I will sometimes be looked as the assistant or the secretary, not the funeral director. Many times, people will ask one of the gentleman assisting me a question, and they will have to answer “I’m sorry, I do not know, you’ll have to ask that young lady there – she’s the director.” It’s not anyone’s fault by any means, it’s just what people are used to.

How does being a funeral director play into your life compared to having a “normal” job? How do you manage to keep a good balance of work life and personal life?

The work life/personal life of a funeral director can get complicated. We can get wrapped up in the families we are serving so much that we can neglect our own families. As long as you have a strong family support system that understands and cares about what you are doing, everything will turn out just fine.

What do you enjoy most about working and living in the Fredericksburg area? What are some things that you enjoy doing in the area?

I love downtown Fredericksburg. The restaurants, coffee shops and little stores are fun to visit and I can’t wait to be able to move down there and walk everywhere. I also love how close we are to Lake Anna. I enjoy water sports and boating, so that is always a fun, quick getaway. Fredericksburg is also the perfect spot between two bigger cities so if you want to go to a concert, catch a flight, or see a professional sports game – it’s all still very close.