5 Ways To Help A Loved One Struggling With Loss

Losing a loved one changes your life forever. When someone you love has recently suffered a loss, you may not know how to offer comfort. This article highlights five ways to help a loved one struggling with loss.

1. Listen, don’t relate.

Sometimes the best thing you can offer someone struggling with loss is your ear. You should assure the person that you will listen if they ever want to talk. Do not force them or nudge them to talk. Instead, just assure them that you will listen.

When listening to them, do not try to relate to their experience. It is important to remember that everyone does not process loss in the same manner. So, when you listen, be impartial, empathetic, and kind.

2. Respect the person’s process.

There isn’t any right or wrong way to process grief. Some people grieve by remembering the good times they have spent with their loved ones. Others grieve by making gestures or openly talking. Throughout this, it is important to support and respect them.

Do not tell them they “should grieve” by doing something, such as visiting their grave, going to therapy, or any other method. Instead, respect them to understand what they want and give help every time they ask.

3. Do not pepper them with questions.

When you ask, “how are you?” they won’t always say, “I am not fine.” Instead, ask, “how are you feeling today” or “how are you feeling right now”? Accept their response, and do not pressure them to elaborate if they do not wish to.

Sometimes, your loved one may give the same answer to every question, or they may deflect it. If this happens, do not get upset. Instead, listen patiently and compassionately.

4. Give space and stay connected.

Sometimes your loved one may want to spend some time alone to process their feelings or memories. Adapting to normal life after suffering a loss is difficult. Therefore, allow them this space but stay connected.

Find a way to communicate that helps you keep in touch but gives them their space. For example, some people may find comfort in a simple text message, while others would want you to drop in. Find a method of communication that they are most comfortable with.

5. Offer assistance.

Sometimes when a loved one struggles with loss, everyday chores can become difficult. Instead of waiting for them to ask for help, ask them whether you can do any chores for them.

Planning a funeral can be a difficult task to manage when grieving. Offer your assistance in planning the funeral. If they refuse, offer assistance doing other household chores so that they can focus on making funeral arrangements. For example, you can offer to take care of their pets, do laundry, or grocery shopping. Simple chores like these can feel overwhelming.

If you want to know more ways you can help your loved one struggling with a loss, contact our experts at Found and Sons. Our expertise and insights can help you support your loved one through a difficult time.

What To Consider When Choosing Between Cremation or Burial

When planning ahead for end-of-life preparations, or making arrangements following the loss of a loved one, many families struggle with choosing between cremation or a traditional burial. Here are some things to consider that may help make the choice easier.

The Difference Between Cremation and Burial

Both cremation and burial practices have been in existence for centuries as a method of final disposition. During the cremation process, a body is incinerated until all that remains is ash. Whereas during a burial, the body is allowed to naturally decompose over time. Both are common and safe methods of handling remains.

With burials, the body may be interred in the ground or entombed in a mausoleum above ground. Bodies are embalmed before being placed in a casket. At Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, we require caskets to be enclosed in a burial vault to prevent the ground from sinking.

Cremated remains, on the other hand, can be kept in an urn, scattered in a way that is meaningful to the deceased, placed in a columbarium, interred in the ground, or entombed in a mausoleum. Some religious practices may require that the cremated remains are kept together and stored or displayed in an approved location.

Both cremation and burial processes can take place at any time. For example, shortly after the deceased has passed away, after a traditional funeral service has taken place, or before a memorial service.

Consider the Deceased’s Wishes and Religious Affiliation

The choice between cremation or burial is often deeply personal. For example, some families prefer to choose burial out of a desire to show respect for their loved one’s body. Other families feel that allowing the body to decay has the opposite impact. This is why making pre-planning arrangements and having these conversations with family members is often so important.

Many religions have differing views on cremation and burials. The Roman Catholic Church has stated that bodies may be cremated, but the ashes must be buried in a cemetery or sacred location. Some Christian denominations (incl. Baptist and the Eastern Orthodox Church) do not support cremation, while others such as the Methodist Seventh-Day Adventists and Lutheran churches do. Judaism has traditionally recommended against cremation, although some sects have relaxed their stance over the years.

Alternatively, cremation is a required practice for some Eastern religions (Hinduism and Buddhism). Sikhs tend to prefer cremation, but do not prohibit burial, while Muslim cultures forbid cremation.

Additional Factors to Consider

Religious beliefs and personal preference are perhaps some of the most important things to consider when choosing between cremation and burial. However, there are other things to keep in mind as well, such as cost and environmental impact. Cremation is typically a more cost-effective service compared to burial.

When it comes to the environment, there are different points of view. The cremation process results in high emissions; however, burials require a significantly larger footprint of land.

Still struggling to choose? We understand, and we’re here to help. Our professional team can walk you through the pre-planning process, one step at a time, and help you choose the options that work best for you. Visit our website to learn more about our services, or call (800) 207-3530 for one-on-one assistance.

National Pet Memorial Day

There Will Never Be Another, and That’s What Makes Them So Special

Most people consider a pet a member of their family. People often celebrate their birthdays, share monumental milestones, and keep pictures of them ready in their wallet or their phone. Many people choose to have pets for various reasons. They can find companionship, acceptance, emotional support, and unconditional love from their animal. Because of this unique bond, losing them when they pass can bring on intense feelings of sorrow, just like losing a person in their family. What’s important to remember is that it is perfectly normal to be affected and experience a great deal of grief when dealing with such a loss.

Finding ways to cope with their passing can help you on your grief journey. While there is no right or wrong way of dealing with the loss, many people find that talking to others about their favorite memories helps alleviate pain. Another way of coping is to memorialize their pet. This can be done in various ways, such as creating a photo album or creating a piece of memorial jewelry that has the pet’s paw print or nose print engraved on it. Another option for memorial jewelry is to store their ashes in a wearable keepsake with their paw print or nose print designed onto it. Either of these jewelry options allows you to keep a piece of your loved one close to your heart.

Everyone deals with the grief of losing their animal in their own way. Allow yourself to go through the process at your own pace and be gracious with how you choose to cope. While time may not heal your pain completely, you will find yourself learning how to move forward without them. Continue to honor their memory and cherish the time you spent with them.

Paw Print

Bangle Bracelet

Paw Print

Heritage Vessel

Discreetly keep your pet close to your heart with this personalized fillable cremation urn vessel pendant necklace. Ideal for holding a pinch of your pet’s cremated remains or locks of fur.

Nose Print

Single Heartfelt Pendant

Paw Print

Organics Charm

To view all keepsakes, click here.

Pet Cremations

While it’s a day that we dread, it’s wise to consider what you will do with your pet once they pass. By planning ahead, you will be can handle matters in a better state of mind rather than doing it while grieving. If you choose to have your pet cremated, we can fulfill your wishes. To learn more or talk with a director about what options are available, click here. We at Found and Sons are animal lovers and our staff has a number of pets ourselves so we will see that your pet is handled with dignity and the utmost care.

An Interview with Monument Counselor, Damian Smith

Setting a Memory in Stone

Having a flat grave marker or monument created are two ways to represent a loved one’s final resting place. Although with more people preferring to be cremated, not everyone finds it necessary to have a flat grave marker or monument made. For those who are interested in these options, here is a brief introduction to grave markers and monuments.

Grave markers are flat bronze plaques that are installed on a granite stone base for the purpose of identifying the deceased. Monuments are upright for the same identification purpose. There are many different styles and types of flat grave markers and monuments available, with different designs, granite options, and personalization options. Because monuments provide more space, more can be personalized in terms of shape, size, and inscription. Whether you choose one over the other, it is a sure way to show that the deceased was loved and continues to be remembered.

Monument Counselor of Our Culpeper Chapel, Damian Smith

Damian has been in the funeral industry since 2010. He joined Found and Sons Culpeper Chapel in November 2014 as a Funeral Assistant, Crematory Operator, and Monument Counselor. He is a native of Richmond and currently resides in Madison County with his wife, Trinity, and son, Noah. Damian is a funeral service intern with hopes of completing his funeral service education in the near future.

How long have you been a Monument Counselor at Found and Sons?

I began my career in the funeral industry in November 2010. My first 4 years were in Louisa and I have been with Found and Sons close to 6 years. I have been a Monument Counselor for about 4 years.

What type of monuments do you tend to recommend to families and why?

All of the monuments we sell are granite, but the finishes vary. The finish that I recommend the most is a polished face because they are the standard base. That finish helps protect and preserve the stone over time and environmental changes.

What’s the most rewarding part of the process when helping families with their monuments?

The most rewarding part of the process is when I am able to meet with the family to learn more about them and what their loved one enjoyed in life. Once I have that information, I then create a proof of the monument to share with the family. It’s nice to see a family’s reaction when they are satisfied with the proof. It’s rewarding to capture the essence of a person and create something that will last for years to come.

What’s the most elaborate monument that you were able to assist a family with?

My favorite monument that I’ve had the honor to work on is the monument that I made for Cynthia Godfrey. I arrived at the home of Cynthia Godfrey after her passing, and quickly noticed a beautiful wall border of trees and leaves that Cynthia had painted. That inspired the design of the monument. I presented the proof to her daughter, Christi, and she loved it. I’m glad that I was able to assist by incorporating the design into the monument.

What is one common misconception that families have when it comes to having a monument made?

A lot of the families do not realize there are rules and regulations at each cemetery with regards to size, height, placement, and what is on the monument. I often find that they are unaware of how creative we can be when designing the monument.

If there was one thing that you could tell a family about monuments, what would it be?

One thing I would like to emphasize to families is the importance of patience. When ordering a monument, there is a turn around time of 3 months from the date it is approved. If you are in a position to plan ahead in regard to designing and ordering a monument, then I would encourage you to do so.

Is there anything else that you would like to inform people about?

Monuments are not limited to gravesites. Monuments can also be placed at residential entrances, parks, business storefronts, possibilities are endless. Come meet with me and together we can think outside the box to create something unique to you or your business.

Do you work closely with the VFW, American Legion, Sheriff’s Departments, and Cemeteries?

I work closely with the VFW, American Legion, Sheriff’s Departments, and Cemeteries on both a personal and professional level. Found and Sons donates to all of these organizations. Most recently I created a monument for Emergency Services. We are working closely with the VFW on a monument for the near future.

When you aren’t assisting with families or helping families with monuments, what do you enjoy doing in your free time?

I spend time with my family. Metal detecting is my most enjoyable hobby when I am away from work. I look forward to finding relics and researching the objects to learn more about them and that time period.

What is one quote that you have lived by?

“Treat others as you would like to be treated.” I may not always follow through, but it is something that I try to live by daily.

To see more monuments by Damian on our website or to set up an appointment, click here. We look forward to assisting you in creating a monument that best represents your loved one.

A beautiful customized monument that is set in Fairview Cemetery in Culpeper, VA.

Granite Stone Options for Monuments

Always There, No Matter How Far

You Don’t Need to Be Close to Have Closure

One of the hardest things we may endure in life is losing a loved one. During the grieving process, many people find the closure they need by attending the funeral. Unfortunately, due to varying circumstances, your loved ones may not be able to attend the funeral. This inadvertently may cause more grief and may lead to feelings of guilt.

To make things easier for those who are unable to attend, Found and Sons has integrated a live-streaming feature that friends and family can utilize. Your friends and family now have the ability to be there for the service no matter the circumstances preventing them from attending. While watching a live-stream of their loved one’s service, they will have the ability to select between two cameras. One camera is positioned to focus on the speaker at the podium and to view the casket or urn. The second camera allows for an overall view from the back of the chapel and also allows viewers to see the casket exit with the pallbearers.

Invitation to View the Service

Once a director has scheduled the service to be live-streamed, an email will be sent to designated family members. The email can then be forwarded and shared with whomever you choose to share the invitation with. Found and Sons also provide the option of putting the link to view the service on your loved one’s obituary page. Since your privacy is important to us, this option is entirely up to you.

Viewing the Service Details and Obituary

By clicking on the link, you will be taken to a new screen. Depending on what time you click the link, it will either display a picture of your loved one or it will be showing the live stream if the service start time has been reached.

Event Tab

Here, you will find details such as the name of the deceased, date of the service, and the time.

Venue Tab

Under this tab, you can see which chapel the service is being held at, the chapel’s phone number, the director’s email address, and the memorial page of the deceased.

Front Camera

This angle provides a closer view of the speaker and arrangement.

Guest Camera

This angle provides an overview of the service.

Found and Sons are excited to provide this new feature for the families we serve. It will give people the opportunity to be a part of something that they otherwise would have missed. In the past, this industry hasn’t been known for technological advancements, so this feature is truly a blessing. Now you can be assured that friends and family, near and far, will be there to honor and celebrate you. If you have been considering pre-planning to make things easier for your family, click here to get started. We are available to answer any questions that you may have.