Culpeper Archives • Blog | Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service

How To Write A Good Eulogy

Summarizing someone’s life in a short speech is an awesome responsibility, especially in the midst of dealing with your own grief. Having a plan of action when preparing a eulogy can ease anxiety, and help the writer clearly communicate a meaningful message that honors the memory of their loved one. Following these steps can help guide you through how to write a good eulogy.

Research and gather information

Gather biographical details such as where the person was born, where they grew up, nicknames, and family members.
Interview close friends and family members of the deceased to learn more about their lives. You’ll want to include significant life events and accomplishments, favorite stories, unique hobbies/interests, and personality traits. These details will help paint a picture of who the person was, and what made them special.
Write down your own memories of the deceased. Adding your own memories and stories will help make your eulogy more personal and meaningful.

Organize your information

Combine all the information you have collected into one list, and go through and decide what you would like to include.
Write a general outline of what you want to share, and organize it into sections. You may want to share biographical details first, followed by stories, memories, and unique qualities of the individual, followed by closing remarks. Be sure to show gratitude in your closing. Share your gratitude for the person you are eulogizing and thank those in attendance for being there to celebrate their life.

Speak from the Heart

As you write your eulogy, be genuine and speak from the heart. The best eulogies are personal, not formal. Write in your own style, in your own words. Remember that this is a celebration of the person’s life, not just a biographical speech. As you write, reflect on what the person meant to you, and that will convey in your eulogy.

Get Feedback

It can be helpful to get feedback from others after writing your eulogy. Reading it aloud to someone will help you gauge the appropriateness of the length, and whether it flows well. After reading it aloud, you can go back and edit it until it feels right to you.

Other Tips

Use humor. It is ok to be light and use humor in a eulogy, as long as you remain respectful, and keep your audience in mind.
Consider using a theme to weave your content together. Theme examples could be the impact the deceased had on the lives of others, lessons you learned from them, overcoming challenges, or specific values they held dear.
Don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself. There is no right or wrong way to write a eulogy, and every eulogy is unique. Your main goal is to honor the deceased by sharing details and stories from their lives, and what they meant to the people around them.
Writing a eulogy can bring up many emotions and feelings. It is important to pace yourself as you write, and take breaks as needed.

Writing a eulogy can actually be a cathartic experience, as it can actually help you process your grief. Following these steps and tips can help you to get organized, take things a step at a time, and write a good eulogy that honors your loved one, and comforts those grieving with you.

In all of this, seeking the support you need is an important priority. Found & Sons has resources for grief and healing to help you cope during this difficult time.

How to Manage Grief During the Holidays

When a loved one passes away, the hole in your heart that developed as a result of that person’s absence becomes substantially more noticeable around the holidays. You may feel unable to process the holiday joy happening all around you and feel guilty if you do start to enjoy yourself. Intellectually, you know that your dearly departed would want you to enjoy yourself, but emotionally you can’t snap out of the sadness and loss. This year, use these tips to help you manage grief during the holidays healthily and respectfully.

1. Incorporate the Loved One Into the Celebrations

When someone moves on, they don’t leave our hearts and minds. Feel free to casually, and in a celebratory and positive manner, talk about the deceased at appropriate times. Also, if you had holiday traditions with your loved one, you should maintain those traditions to hold on to their memory.

Humorous stories and looking at old pictures can give you the chance to look back at the joyful moments you shared fondly.

Read the room as you talk to ensure that you aren’t causing anyone to feel old wounds again, especially if it was a recent loss. If you notice everyone appears comfortable, you can continue as you deem appropriate.

2. Express Yourself

It’s not healthy to keep your grief, loneliness, and cynicism inside of yourself boiling up to the point that it explodes.

Productively express any influx of emotions. You can write your feelings down in a diary, write a song, paint a picture, or just let yourself cry. When you express your feelings, it releases them from inside of you. Many people feel a sense of relief or a weight removed from their shoulders. Without the heavy emotional baggage, you can allow yourself to replace those negative feelings with new, positive ones.

3. Establish a Support System

You probably aren’t the only person missing someone this holiday.

Talk to the people around you to find people who can offer emotional support. If possible, create a support system out of people who also loved the same person you did so that you can share stories and relate to each other.

Not all of us have the best support system built into the people around us. If that’s the case for you, you can find support in the form of a support group or therapy. Professional grief counselors can teach you specific methods on how to deal with your grief and prescribe medication if the situation caused a hormonal imbalance.

You are not alone. Found and Sons Funeral Chapels Cremation Service offers grief and healing services to help you get through the holiday season.

Contact a professional counselor today for more information on all of our services, including funeral services and cremation. Taking care of the details will give you more time to celebrate your loved one this holiday season.

What To Consider When Choosing Between Cremation or Burial

When planning ahead for end-of-life preparations, or making arrangements following the loss of a loved one, many families struggle with choosing between cremation or a traditional burial. Here are some things to consider that may help make the choice easier.

The Difference Between Cremation and Burial

Both cremation and burial practices have been in existence for centuries as a method of final disposition. During the cremation process, a body is incinerated until all that remains is ash. Whereas during a burial, the body is allowed to naturally decompose over time. Both are common and safe methods of handling remains.

With burials, the body may be interred in the ground or entombed in a mausoleum above ground. Bodies are embalmed before being placed in a casket. At Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, we require caskets to be enclosed in a burial vault to prevent the ground from sinking.

Cremated remains, on the other hand, can be kept in an urn, scattered in a way that is meaningful to the deceased, placed in a columbarium, interred in the ground, or entombed in a mausoleum. Some religious practices may require that the cremated remains are kept together and stored or displayed in an approved location.

Both cremation and burial processes can take place at any time. For example, shortly after the deceased has passed away, after a traditional funeral service has taken place, or before a memorial service.

Consider the Deceased’s Wishes and Religious Affiliation

The choice between cremation or burial is often deeply personal. For example, some families prefer to choose burial out of a desire to show respect for their loved one’s body. Other families feel that allowing the body to decay has the opposite impact. This is why making pre-planning arrangements and having these conversations with family members is often so important.

Many religions have differing views on cremation and burials. The Roman Catholic Church has stated that bodies may be cremated, but the ashes must be buried in a cemetery or sacred location. Some Christian denominations (incl. Baptist and the Eastern Orthodox Church) do not support cremation, while others such as the Methodist Seventh-Day Adventists and Lutheran churches do. Judaism has traditionally recommended against cremation, although some sects have relaxed their stance over the years.

Alternatively, cremation is a required practice for some Eastern religions (Hinduism and Buddhism). Sikhs tend to prefer cremation, but do not prohibit burial, while Muslim cultures forbid cremation.

Additional Factors to Consider

Religious beliefs and personal preference are perhaps some of the most important things to consider when choosing between cremation and burial. However, there are other things to keep in mind as well, such as cost and environmental impact. Cremation is typically a more cost-effective service compared to burial.

When it comes to the environment, there are different points of view. The cremation process results in high emissions; however, burials require a significantly larger footprint of land.

Still struggling to choose? We understand, and we’re here to help. Our professional team can walk you through the pre-planning process, one step at a time, and help you choose the options that work best for you. Visit our website to learn more about our services, or call (800) 207-3530 for one-on-one assistance.

How to Honor Veterans and Their Families

You might know that November 11th is Veteran’s Day, which is celebrated every year in America to honor those who’ve served their country. But did you know that the entirety of November is also related to veterans? Or, more specifically, their families.

November is Military Family Month—a time to acknowledge and recognize the sacrifices our military families make alongside their veterans. Wondering how to honor our veterans and their families? Below are a few simple things you can do to show your gratitude and support.

Ways to Honor Your Veterans

Thank a Veteran

There are around 19 million veterans in the U.S. right now, and while you can’t thank all of them, you can certainly make the veterans in your life feel appreciated. Even if it’s an active-duty military member you pass on the street, take the time to thank them. You can even send a letter or postcard to a veteran, or if you don’t know one, send it to the closest military installation.

Listen to Their Stories

Being a veteran is something that non-veterans likely won’t understand, but you can still offer to listen. Some veterans might be hesitant to share their stories, especially if they were active in combat. But if a veteran offers to speak, listen. Ask them questions if they’re willing to answer (remember to be sensitive and respectful) and give them your full attention.

Donate

There are several organizations that are dedicated to helping veterans. Check here for some ideas on where you can donate.

Visit a VA Hospital or Senior Living Community

Find out where your nearest VA hospital or senior living community that houses veterans is, and check their policies. If you can, spend a day with a veteran, or attend any events they might have. You can even volunteer at the facility to help.

Ways to Honor Military Families

Veterans deserve an abundance of support, but so do their families. Here are some ways you can show your appreciation this Military Family Month.

Offer Your Time

Military spouses experience a lot of changes and struggles—frequent moves, deployments, caring for their family, and more. So if you can offer your time in any capacity, by babysitting or running errands, it can help give them a breather.

Donate on Their Behalf

Donating to a veterans’ charity on behalf of a military family is a great way to show them that you care and are willing to support them.

Perform a Random Act of Kindness

Take the time out of your day to perform an act of kindness. It can be anonymous, like writing them a thank you note or leaving them a care package. Or, you can thank them publicly on social media and recognize their sacrifice.

Ask Them How You Can Help

The easiest way to know how to help a military family? Ask them what they need, and do your best to provide it, whether it’s a listening ear, help with the chores, or anything else.

You don’t have to wait until November to honor veterans and their families. At Found and Sons Funeral Chapel and Cremation Services, we recognize and are always grateful for the huge sacrifices our veterans make everyday. To learn more, take a look at our Veteran’s Services or contact us today.

How To Write A Memorable Obituary

An obituary is a touching way to announce the death of a loved one and celebrate their life’s accomplishments. However, many family members find it difficult to write an obituary, especially if grief is creating writer’s block. Here are some tips that can help make the process smooth and ensure that your loved one’s memory is celebrated.

Set the Tone

There are many things to do when a loved one passes away and it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Pre-planning the funeral details can help alleviate some of the stress associated with loss. Grief support resources can help family members understand and process emotions.

Before you sit down to write the obituary, take time to set the tone. Do your best to remove any distractions, light your favorite candle if you’d like, and spend some time in meditation or prayer before you begin. This can help create space for meaningful reflection rather than checking off an item on the to-do list. Typing the obituary helps prevent any mistakes during posting, but many people choose to write the first draft by hand.

Start With the Basics

An obituary typically starts by listing the basic information about the deceased, such as when they were born, the date they passed, and any other relevant biographical information (Where did they live? Where did they go to school? What was their career like?).

Include a list of surviving family members, as well as any notable predeceased family members. You don’t need to include the entire family tree, but these people should be listed by name:

Parents
Their spouse/partner
Any children or step-children—along with their spouse/partner’s names in brackets, if applicable
Siblings, including half- and step-siblings
Grandchildren and great-grandchildren
Surviving in-laws, if relevant

If you’d like to highlight any additional family members, you can group them together by relationship—such as “five nieces, and two nephews.” People with very large families may choose to do this for grandchildren and great-grandchildren as well.

You may also want to include any notable information, such as the date of the service, a memorial donation fund, or anything else you’d like the public to know.

Add Some of Their Personality

Personality quirks are often what make your loved one who they are, so don’t be afraid to showcase that in their obituary. Make it personal by sharing their passions and hobbies. Don’t just focus on what they did in their life, talk about what their life was like, too. Be mindful of the length, however—many newspaper publications charge by the word. You may want to have a formal announcement for the paper and a more personal obituary for the funeral service.

Don’t Forget to Proofread

As with any important writing, don’t forget to proofread! Have someone else look it over, or run it through an online spelling and grammar program such as Grammarly.

At Found and Sons Funeral Chapel and Cremation Services, our goal is to help you navigate the end of your loved one’s life. We strive to make it a time of reflection, appreciation, and celebration, so that we may help you honor and preserve your loved one’s memory. Visit our website to learn more about our services or call (800) 207-3530 today.