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My Loved One Said, “No Funeral.” What Should I Do?

My Loved One Said, “No Funeral.” What Should I Do?

This is an issue we hear about time and time again at Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service: What should I do when my loved one made it clear he or she does not want a funeral or memorial service? Your loved one may be thinking this will help the family by saving them time and money. But what some people here in Culpeper and Spotsylvania Counties don’t realize is how much healing takes place with a meaningful tribute. Plus, when a funeral is preplanned, and maybe even pre-paid, there is so much pressure taken off the family during an already difficult time.

If your loved one has “No funeral,” or even solidified his or her wishes for no service by preplanning, what options do you have?

Some might say you should honor the loved one’s wishes. Others might suggest hosting a small, private get-together, where close friends and family members can pay their respects. Then there are those who would say funerals are for the living, and they will decide how to proceed.

As you can see, this can be an incredibly complex issue, and it’s one more and more Culpeper and Fredericksburg families have dealt with in recent years. While there is no cut-and-dried solution, our professional team has a few suggestions for those of you who find yourselves struggling when a loved one makes this request.

We’ve been assisting Culpeper and Fredericksburg families with funerals for decades, and we know the pivotal and highly meaningful role a service plays in the grieving process. A ceremony marks every transition in life: weddings, baptisms, graduations, and funerals. Gathering together to recognize the importance of the life that has been lived is essential after a loss. However, the tribute you plan does not have to reflect a “traditional” funeral.

We offer alternatives such as celebrant services instead of religious services, visitations with or without viewing, unique ceremonies to honor the person who has died, and receptions that feel more like a party than a funeral. We try to be creative in helping families make funeral arrangements, so the decisions truly reflect their personal preferences and the life that has been lived.

At Found and Sons, we believe every life has meaning, and we will work with you to design the tribute your family needs to bring healing. Reach out to us, and we will help you figure out your next step during this difficult time.

Personalization: Show What Made Your Loved One Special

At family-owned Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, we believe every life in Culpeper and Fredericksburg represents a unique story. When it comes time to say goodbye to your loved one, our goal is to help you tell their own story in the most meaningful, personal way possible. Our trained staff – led by the Found family – will spend time with you, listen to their story and your needs and wishes, and then help you celebrate what made your friend or family member so memorable.

And creating a personal farewell doesn’t have to be expensive. We can help you create a service that is meaningful, yet affordable. Personalization really is all about honoring what your loved one stood for and valued. If your mother loved her garden, we can hand out seeds of her favorite flower for guests to plant in their gardens at home. If your father was a proud Irishman, “Danny Boy” can be played on the bagpipes at the burial. We can arrange for a balloon or dove release as well. At Found and Sons, there are so many ways to celebrate your loved one.

One of the most popular ways to honor a loved one is with a video tribute. You present us with special pictures, home videos, or favorite songs, and we can make a touching video paying tribute to your loved one. During such a difficult time, it is important to remember the happy times and the beautiful memories that you made together.

Don’t forget that personalization when making prearrangements is also a way for you to express your own story. Imagine your loved one’s delight and surprise when they hear your favorite book quoted during your service or your favorite song played graveside. These little touches are what will stay in your family’s hearts forever – one more way for you to leave your mark. Our preplanning specialists can make this happen.

The experienced, compassionate team at Found and Sons is here to help in any way we can, and we will make sure you or your loved one’s personality shines through the funeral service. We hope you’ll reach out to us for more information or to tour our facilities at any time.

How to Make a Cremation Service Meaningful

How to Make a Cremation Service Meaningful

Many Culpeper and Fredericksburg families believe if they choose cremation, they will not be able to have a funeral service that is meaningful and tells the story of their loved one’s life. Of course, this is not true when a family chooses Found and Sons Funeral Homes and Cremation Service. Funeral traditions are constantly changing and evolving over time, and families are now discovering that cremation is a dignified form of commemoration, when you choose an experienced funeral home that cares about your family.

As traditions change, we are always developing new and meaningful ways to honor and memorialize the life that was lived. Attitudes toward what is “appropriate” during a funeral have generally broadened, and that means we can offer families new personalized choices and unique forms of tribute and remembrance. However, families who have lost a loved one sometimes find these choices overwhelming. We can help. The best place to start is by making a list of your loved one’s interests, hobbies, accomplishments, as well as faith and cultural traditions.

What is important if you choose cremation is that you still plan a meaningful farewell. Many experts agree this is an important step in the grieving process. When you choose cremation, you may still have a visitation, memorial service, traditional funeral service, graveside observance, and many other comforting and healing rituals. And you can personalize cremation services with vaults, caskets, and urns that bear emblems and engravings denoting religious affiliation, hobbies, special interests, and/or military or civic service.

There is one other important aspect of cremation that you may wish to keep in mind. Some people have concerns about whether or not their loved one will be treated with dignity throughout the process. Since families in the Culpeper and Fredericksburg area know and trust the Found and Sons name, they can rest assured knowing we will make sure the loved one is treated with dignity and respect and that the cremation process meets our highest standards of ethics, performance, and professionalism. Our personal involvement assures that we receive superior service on a consistent basis.

When you choose cremation, ask these important questions: What kind of memorial services are available? What are the choices for personalization, and telling the story of the life that has been lived? And most importantly, what measures does the funeral home take to guard the dignity of the cremation process? We are committed to preserving the dignity of your loved one. And that’s the best assurance of all.

How to Talk to Your Parents about Preplanning

Here at Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, we’ve noticed in recent years that more and more people in Culpeper and Fredericksburg are planning their own funeral ahead of time. And some choose to do it rather early in life – many as soon as they retire. These people realize that not only are they taking the opportunity to express their own desires about their farewell, they’re removing a huge burden from their family. When the time comes, there will be no guessing and no arguments about what they would have wanted. Everything will be right there, in black and white.

For those who do preplan, it’s easy for them to see the benefits and to want to encourage others to do the same – especially their own parents. Many people encourage their aging parents to take care of practical items like a will or an advanced health directive. But making funeral prearrangements can be just as important and should be included in those end-of-life discussions.

But it can be hard to broach the topic with your mom or dad. What’s the best way to approach the subject without causing offense or making them uncomfortable? We have several tips we can offer:

Begin by acknowledging it’s not an easy topic to talk about. No one wants to think about their own death, and you certainly don’t want to dwell on how you will feel when your parents are gone.
Point out that death is a part of life, and we simply don’t know when the moment will come.
Explain why this will be helpful to you and your family. Express your desire to follow their wishes when it comes to their remembrance and final disposition.
Recognize the truth about your health or your parent’s health. If your mother or father is in poor health, the reasons to plan are even more urgent.
If you’ve preplanned yourself, tell them some of the reasons you made that choice. Most likely, the love for your family and desire to make your death easier for them will be at the top of the list.
Make sure your parents know they don’t have to tell you every aspect of their plan right now. They can meet privately with our caring team here at Found and Sons, or complete their arrangements online whenever and wherever they’re most comfortable.
On the other hand, you might offer to help them make their plans.
Reassure them of your love and their importance in your life. Tell them you hope you won’t need these plans for many years to come, but explain that this will bring you peace of mind, knowing things will be handled the way they would have wished. It’s truly a gift of love.

At Found and Sons, we are here to help you and your whole family with funeral prearrangements. We can even provide you with an example of how this conversation might go for you. Reach out to us anytime, or you can find more information or begin the planning process right here on our online home.

5 Things You Should Do When a Loved One Dies

The First 5 Things You Should Do When a Loved One Dies

If someone you love has just passed away, your head is probably spinning. Your life will never be the same, but there are some very practical things you need to handle. Here are the top five things you need to do after losing someone close to you.

1.) Report the death.

If your loved one passes away in a doctor’s office, nursing home, hospital, or in hospice care, a doctor will be able to do this for you. If they die at home here in Culpeper or Fredericksburg, you will need to call 911. While state laws vary, in Virginia, a paramedic cannot pronounce a death, so they will need to transport your friend or family member to a hospital.

2.) Make Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service your next call.

We will help you complete the certificate of death and arrange for the transportation of your loved one here to the funeral home. If your friend or family member passed away while traveling, we will bring them home in a professional manner for the lowest possible cost.

There are a number of other decisions you will need to make at this moment. Our caring, experienced staff will walk you through all of your options and determine the kind of service and final disposition that most closely matches your loved one’s wishes.

3.) Notify others.

Take care to tell the people in your inner circle first. It is best practice to refrain from sharing any news on social media until you are sure all family and close friends have been notified. Be sure to call your loved one’s employer and make arrangements immediately for the care of any children or pets left behind.

You may want to enlist the help of other family members and friends to help with notifications, especially if you are the primary person responsible for making the funeral arrangements.

4.) Plan the funeral.

There are a number of considerations for you to make when planning a funeral. Unless your loved one chose to preplan, you’ll need to decide between traditional burial and cremation, as well as their final disposition, and all the other details related to their service.

At Found and Sons, we will work closely with you to design a service that will capture your friend or family member’s personality and bring you healing. Think about the ways you want to infuse the service or visitation with your loved one’s personality. Fortunately, our staff is not only experienced with managing all of these details, they also know firsthand what a difficult process this is for you. Their care and concern will help making these decisions as easy as they can be.

5.) Begin down a road towards healing.

Grief is a long journey, and for some, it never ends. In the midst of managing the practical details that must be attended to after a loved one’s passing, don’t neglect to take the time you need to practice self-care. As much as possible, try to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep at night. Drink plenty of water, eat healthy foods, and try to fit in a bit of exercise each day – even if it’s simply taking a walk around the block. Spend time with people who lovingly support you, and don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

Above all, know that when you plan with Found and Sons, you are never alone. We are always here to connect you with resources that will help you in your grief. And our commitment to help you and your family continues long after the funeral service is over.

Do you have any tips or advice to share with others about what to do after a loss? If so, please offer them in the comment section below.