Tag: explain

Tips for Writing a Meaningful Obituary

American playwright and novelist Thornton Wilder once said, “The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude.” Of course, grief is inescapable, and a part of the normal human experience after death occurs. One way we can express our gratitude to our loved ones is by preparing a farewell that captures their essence and communicates what they meant to us and to the world. The team at ­­­­Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service has been honored to do that for our neighbors in Culpeper and Fredericksburg for more than 80 years.

 

One of the oldest forms of paying tribute to a loved one is the obituary, which can be traced historically back to the time of the ancient Romans. While it has been called a number of different things throughout the centuries, the modern death announcement became known as an “obituary” around the 18th century. Obituaries have undergone a lot of changes throughout the years. For example, 20 years ago we would primarily read obituaries in the local newspaper, whereas now, online memorials are more popular. Publishing online is preferred because loved ones can edit content, including video and photo slideshows, and share easily and widely on social media networks. Families use obituaries to tell their loved one’s unique life story and to communicate key information about the visitation, service, or reception. Friends and family members can also leave online condolences that appear instantly.

The ability to share a loved one’s obituary so widely increases the importance of creating a tribute that is accurate, vivid, and compelling. It’s a significant responsibility, but at ­­­­Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, our caring staff has the knowledge and experience to help you with this. We realize writing an obituary can seem daunting, especially while dealing with the numerous decisions and tasks that must be made in connection to the funeral service. At a time when grief can overwhelm, we are here to help you find the words you want to say.

 

As you’re preparing to write an obituary, consider these tips to help you get started:

 

Keep it simple

An obituary can be many things: a notice of death, a story of life, a family record, a request for memorial donations, a source of information about funeral service, and a thank you to special people, institutions or groups who provided help and comfort. It is also a defining statement about the person who has died, so accuracy is crucial. If you are struggling with what information to include, we can offer step-by-step guidance, so you convey your loved one’s personality and contributions in a meaningful way.

Tips for Writing a Meaningful Obituary

 

 

Review the obituary to catch misspellings and verify facts

Too often, errors slip by – names are misspelled, dates are incorrect, specifics are overlooked – which is why it is essential to have a number of people proofread before publication. Our caring team, available at our locations in Culpeper County, will make sure to choose appropriate phrasing and confirm correct information.

 

Take care when selecting what to highlight

Key points in an obituary include childhood, education, career, military service, hobbies and accomplishments. These details serve as a reflection of your loved one and present an opportunity to let his or her personality shine on paper. In many cases, an obituary is the only article ever written about a person’s life and may be the only record of existence that remains centuries later. We realize how important this is, and that’s why we post obituaries on our website free of charge for families we serve. Our online obituaries also provide links to send sympathy flowers and the ability to light a memory candle.

 

During this difficult time, please remember that our compassionate staff Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service and is here for you with advice, comfort and expertise. Reach out to us today.

“Mommy, when is Grandma coming back?”— Explaining Death to Children

“Mommy, when is Grandma coming back?”— Explaining Death to Children

Knowing what to say to children when a loved one dies can be a challenge. Many Culpeper and Fredericksburg families have approached our team at ­­­­Found and Sons over the years wondering about the “best” ways to handle such a complex and emotional topic. In our work helping families plan funerals or memorial services, we’ve observed that children react to death differently, often depending on their ages.

 

Don’t hide death from children

 

 

While most realize something sad and difficult is going on, some children haven’t developed the coping skills for unpleasant events and may react in physical ways. This might include headaches, upset stomachs, or unusual aches and pains. In some cases, children will regress by thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, or having angry and aggressive tantrums. They may also avoid the issue entirely by pretending the person who died has simply gone shopping or on vacation.  All of these behaviors are entirely normal.

 

Above all, children need sensitivity, patience, and support as they process the loss. Consider these tips when it comes to how you react to children during a time of grief:

 

DO:

  • Do be honest but keep it simple when explaining death to children. For example, “Grandma’s body stopped working.”
  • Do share your faith, but in a way your children can understand. If they need more details, they will ask questions. It’s perfectly acceptable to admit that you don’t always have the answers.
  • Do help them find ways to express their grief and frustration, such as drawing, music, exercise, or other forms of play.
  • Do include them in the funeral rituals or memorial services you plan.
  • Do express your grief in front of your child. Tears and sadness are normal and appropriate reactions to death.

 

DON’T:

  • Don’t try to hide the death from them.
  • Don’t change your daily routine. As much as possible, keep to a consistent schedule including school and social events.
  • Don’t use euphemisms and clichés to describe the situation. Phrases like “passed away,” “went to sleep,” or “moved on” can be confusing to children.
  • Don’t be afraid or nervous to talk about your loved one. Research shows that sharing stories and memories helps with healing and closure.
  • Don’t expect children to move through grief Losing a loved one is difficult, regardless of your age.

 

At Found and Sons, we see it as part of our mission to help the grieving move toward healing, which is why we provide a number of aftercare resources for our families. You can even subscribe to receive our daily email message that provides a dose of encouragement and inspiration. It doesn’t matter what time of day, or what day of the week you need support, we’re here for you. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us today.