Can I Wear Color to a Funeral?

Can I Wear Color to a Funeral?

At Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, we have heard many questions from our Culpeper and Fredericksburg communities about what is appropriate to wear and say at a funeral. Everyone is different, and each person’s life can be celebrated in a unique manner. It’s a big reason why we provide personalized funeral services for families to explore in planning.

For some, a traditional funeral complete with black or dark coloring is desired and appropriate for the life that was lived. For others, this conservative memorial might seem too somber or unfitting. There are countless ways to remember a loved one, and it is important to find out exactly what’s expected for that particular ceremony.


If the deceased was bubbly and constantly smiling, perhaps bright clothing and colorful flowers or balloons might be a fitting tribute to someone who was also bright and imaginative in life. We often hear our families say, “she would have wanted everyone lighthearted and celebrating, not crying.” Adding color to a service is an appropriate and acceptable way to memorialize a cheerful person, creating a “celebration of life” atmosphere rather than “mourning a death.”


Similarly, if a child dies, often the school holds a ceremony or service open to the students. Classmates are commonly told to wear bright colors in an attempt to make the youth feel comfortable and not intimidated by death.

Funeral Etiquette


We would advise you not to call the family during such a difficult time and bother them with questions about dress. Our staff can tell you what the family has requested, or the family may include that information on their loved one’s obituary or post it to Facebook. The most important thing is being present for the bereaved.


For what you can say to the bereaved at a funeral, it is always appropriate to speak from the heart. Some find it hard to know what to say, so try collecting your thoughts ahead of time, thinking of a good memory or story to share.  There may be many people in attendance, so if time is limited, expressing your sympathy, love, and support is best. Remember your presence for them at such a difficult time will be comforting, so even saying kind words such as, “my thoughts and prayers are with you” will be welcomed and appreciated.

If you are seeking help for your friend who is grieving after the service is over, we have aftercare resources we provide for those individuals who need additional support. Our care does not stop when the funeral ends.

Surviving the Winter Blues

Surviving the Winter Blues


Even living in the beautiful state of Virginia, the winter months can get a little hard and maybe even depressing, as the days get shorter and the temperature dips. This can be even more true if you’ve recently lost a loved one.


But it is important to try and keep your spirits up, and there are many ways you can do so, even amid your grief. As much as you can, try get outside and get a little sunshine and exercise. If it’s simply too chilly for you, invite a friend or family member over to watch old movies or play a favorite board game. Ask your grandkids over to make your favorite oatmeal raisin cookies or build a fire to roast marshmallows.


When you’re tempted to dwell on the winter blues or on your loss, try to focus on all of the wonderful things you have in your life – it is true what they say, no matter how bad it gets, there is always something to be thankful for. A lot of the families we serve find that a gratitude journal becomes helpful to them in darker moments.

Also, don’t negate the healing power of laughter. Go online and watch funny cat videos if that gives you a chuckle! 


Finally, continually make plans and schedule outings for yourself. As busy holiday schedules are ramping down here in the New Year, it’s the perfect time to start a weekly poker game with your neighbors or host a dinner party with friends every Monday evening. This will also give you something to look forward to, and you won’t find yourself sitting home alone. And you never know – that friend or neighbor might be having some winter blues themselves. Your invitation could be just what the doctor ordered.


Most of all, remember you’re never alone in your loneliness or grief. Here at Found and Sons, we are always here for you. We believe that our care for you and responsibility to you does not end when the funeral service is over. We can offer you a number resources for emotional support. Sometimes, a family member needs a bit of extra support. We can make referrals to support groups and grief counselors to provide the help they need.


Remember: when you choose Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, you will always have a friend in Culpeper and Fredericksburg.


Why a Permanent Memorial is Always Important

Why a Permanent Memorial is Always Important


Many Culpeper and Fredericksburg families find that cremation meets their family’s needs best. Even if cremation is your loved one’s choice, we always try to stress the importance of establishing a permanent memorial for a loved one. We have found this can be very helpful to the grieving and healing process. An enduring honor to a family member or friend gives those who loved them a place to connect and pay their respects after they’re gone.


At Found and Sons, there are many meaningful memorialization options available with cremation, even if you decide to scatter your loved one’s cremated remains in a meaningful location. We can make it possible for you to scatter a portion of the cremated remains while saving the rest to preserve in a piece of beautiful keepsake jewelry or in an urn that can be displayed in your home. You might also choose to bury a portion of the cremated remains outdoors or place them in a mausoleum. Some even choose to have a part of the remains become a part of a living reef or launched into space. We can make all of these things happen at Found and Sons.


Another option is a columbarium niche. This wall of recessed spaces holds specifically designed urns of different styles and sizes. Some columbarium niches allow space for personal items and have enough space for multiple urns, so you can keep your family together for generations to come.


One very meaningful expression we have seen some families make is dedicating trees, plants, or other meaningful items in honor of a loved one. If your father enjoyed sitting outside and experiencing nature, perhaps a bench dedicated to him would be a special tribute. If your grandmother loved roses, planting a rose bush in her honor would be lovely. Come to the memorialization experts at Found and Sons. We can help introduce you to our various memorialization options available.

Managing Grief During the Holidays

Managing Grief During the Holidays

The holidays are supposed to be a time of great joy for Culpeper and Fredericksburg families. Despite all of the family togetherness and holiday cheer though, this time of year can be very painful for those who have lost a loved one.


Even the most wonderful traditions – the annual family Christmas party, a friendly gift exchange, or the sparkling tree – can be a painful reminder of your loss. Watching other people enjoy time with loved ones can stand in stark contrast to the loneliness you feel without your friend or family member by your side. And this can be true whether or not you lost someone during the holiday season, or whether or not the loss was recent.

At Found and Sons, we hope you know you’re not alone. If you’re in need of help with grief, please reach out to us. We can connect you with aftercare resources in Culpeper and Fredericksburg, or get you signed up for our daily affirmation emails. We also want to give you some practical ideas right here on our blog on how to not only get through the holidays but perhaps even find your own joy.


Handle traditions with care.

You might find the traditions you’re used to participating in are simply too painful for you this year. That’s perfectly okay. Don’t let external pressure force you into something that is going to increase your pain. It’s okay to excuse yourself from family traditions. The people who love you will understand and support you.


Be patient with yourself.

Everyone’s grieving process looks different. Don’t compare your journey to others or even what you read about in grief resources. Allow yourself to feel the way you feel, even if it’s angry or sad. On the other hand, if you feel happiness or joy as you delight in the season, that is okay too!


Take care of yourself.

Even with a “normal” holiday, things can get stressful, with presents to buy, budgets to stretch, and parties to plan. With the added pressure and emotional strain of a recent loss, all of these stressors can be compounded. Here are some tips for holiday self-care:

  • Get plenty of sleep.
  • Don’t overindulge in sweets or alcohol.
  • Find the time for a little bit of exercise every day – even if it’s a walk around the block.


Give back.

One of the best ways to remind ourselves of the true reason for the season is by helping others. There are plenty of opportunities during the holidays for reaching out to those in need. Contact local charities and churches to find out how they’re serving your community, and if you feel up to it, get involved. You might be surprised how it lifts your spirits!


Above all else, remember that this time of year really isn’t about presents, food, or parties – it’s about the truest gift of all – love. Reflect on the love you gave and received to the friend or family member you lost. Nothing – not even physical separation – can take that away.


From all of us here at Found and Sons, we wish you love, joy, and peace this holiday season.

The Many Ways to Personalize a Loved One’s Farewell.

The Many Ways to Personalize a Loved One’s Farewell


For many of the families we serve in Culpeper and Fredericksburg and surrounding communities, a memento of a loved one can be incredibly comforting in the days and months following a death. With many memorial items to choose from at Found and Sons, you are sure to find something that represents your loved one.


For friends and family that had a loved one who served in the military, you may want to purchase a flag display frame. The display frame encases the folded flag given to you by the branch of service your loved one served in and gives you a unique way to honor your loved one and to preserve the flag. The experienced staff at Found and Sons will be able to craft the most honorable farewell for your veteran friend or family member.

A video tribute is a great way to enhance a service and also provides a way for future generations to relate to the life lived. Picture images, music, and dialogue can bring the story to life and serve as a remembrance for future generations.


One unique way to keep and share cremated remains is to transform them into a jewelry keepsake. For example, you can have a ring made featuring a diamond-like stone made from the cremated remains. Another treasured jewelry keepsake would be a locket that has two compartments, one for a strand of hair from your deceased loved one and the other for a photo.


Some families who choose cremation opt for a more dramatic option. For example, there is a company who will put a portion of your loved one’s cremated remains on board a commercial or scientific satellite to send the departed into space. Another company mixes cremated remains into an artificial reef to be placed in the ocean to provide a home for sea creatures.


When it comes time to plan a farewell for your loved one, the compassionate and knowledgeable staff at Found and Sons will help you create a service that honors their memory and pays tribute to their culture, values, hobbies and accompishments.


If you choose to make your own prearrangements with Found and Sons, these are decisions you can make for yourself. From top to bottom, you can craft your own service and choose the memorialization items that are right for you. Reach out to us any time to learn about preplanning as well as all of the memorial options and personalization aspects we can offer you and your family.