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My Loved One Said, “No Funeral.” What Should I Do?

My Loved One Said, “No Funeral.” What Should I Do?

This is an issue we hear about time and time again at Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service: What should I do when my loved one made it clear he or she does not want a funeral or memorial service? Your loved one may be thinking this will help the family by saving them time and money. But what some people here in Culpeper and Spotsylvania Counties don’t realize is how much healing takes place with a meaningful tribute. Plus, when a funeral is preplanned, and maybe even pre-paid, there is so much pressure taken off the family during an already difficult time.

If your loved one has “No funeral,” or even solidified his or her wishes for no service by preplanning, what options do you have?

Some might say you should honor the loved one’s wishes. Others might suggest hosting a small, private get-together, where close friends and family members can pay their respects. Then there are those who would say funerals are for the living, and they will decide how to proceed.

As you can see, this can be an incredibly complex issue, and it’s one more and more Culpeper and Fredericksburg families have dealt with in recent years. While there is no cut-and-dried solution, our professional team has a few suggestions for those of you who find yourselves struggling when a loved one makes this request.

We’ve been assisting Culpeper and Fredericksburg families with funerals for decades, and we know the pivotal and highly meaningful role a service plays in the grieving process. A ceremony marks every transition in life: weddings, baptisms, graduations, and funerals. Gathering together to recognize the importance of the life that has been lived is essential after a loss. However, the tribute you plan does not have to reflect a “traditional” funeral.

We offer alternatives such as celebrant services instead of religious services, visitations with or without viewing, unique ceremonies to honor the person who has died, and receptions that feel more like a party than a funeral. We try to be creative in helping families make funeral arrangements, so the decisions truly reflect their personal preferences and the life that has been lived.

At Found and Sons, we believe every life has meaning, and we will work with you to design the tribute your family needs to bring healing. Reach out to us, and we will help you figure out your next step during this difficult time.

Personalization: Show What Made Your Loved One Special

At family-owned Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, we believe every life in Culpeper and Fredericksburg represents a unique story. When it comes time to say goodbye to your loved one, our goal is to help you tell their own story in the most meaningful, personal way possible. Our trained staff – led by the Found family – will spend time with you, listen to their story and your needs and wishes, and then help you celebrate what made your friend or family member so memorable.

And creating a personal farewell doesn’t have to be expensive. We can help you create a service that is meaningful, yet affordable. Personalization really is all about honoring what your loved one stood for and valued. If your mother loved her garden, we can hand out seeds of her favorite flower for guests to plant in their gardens at home. If your father was a proud Irishman, “Danny Boy” can be played on the bagpipes at the burial. We can arrange for a balloon or dove release as well. At Found and Sons, there are so many ways to celebrate your loved one.

One of the most popular ways to honor a loved one is with a video tribute. You present us with special pictures, home videos, or favorite songs, and we can make a touching video paying tribute to your loved one. During such a difficult time, it is important to remember the happy times and the beautiful memories that you made together.

Don’t forget that personalization when making prearrangements is also a way for you to express your own story. Imagine your loved one’s delight and surprise when they hear your favorite book quoted during your service or your favorite song played graveside. These little touches are what will stay in your family’s hearts forever – one more way for you to leave your mark. Our preplanning specialists can make this happen.

The experienced, compassionate team at Found and Sons is here to help in any way we can, and we will make sure you or your loved one’s personality shines through the funeral service. We hope you’ll reach out to us for more information or to tour our facilities at any time.

How to Make a Cremation Service Meaningful

How to Make a Cremation Service Meaningful

Many Culpeper and Fredericksburg families believe if they choose cremation, they will not be able to have a funeral service that is meaningful and tells the story of their loved one’s life. Of course, this is not true when a family chooses Found and Sons Funeral Homes and Cremation Service. Funeral traditions are constantly changing and evolving over time, and families are now discovering that cremation is a dignified form of commemoration, when you choose an experienced funeral home that cares about your family.

As traditions change, we are always developing new and meaningful ways to honor and memorialize the life that was lived. Attitudes toward what is “appropriate” during a funeral have generally broadened, and that means we can offer families new personalized choices and unique forms of tribute and remembrance. However, families who have lost a loved one sometimes find these choices overwhelming. We can help. The best place to start is by making a list of your loved one’s interests, hobbies, accomplishments, as well as faith and cultural traditions.

What is important if you choose cremation is that you still plan a meaningful farewell. Many experts agree this is an important step in the grieving process. When you choose cremation, you may still have a visitation, memorial service, traditional funeral service, graveside observance, and many other comforting and healing rituals. And you can personalize cremation services with vaults, caskets, and urns that bear emblems and engravings denoting religious affiliation, hobbies, special interests, and/or military or civic service.

There is one other important aspect of cremation that you may wish to keep in mind. Some people have concerns about whether or not their loved one will be treated with dignity throughout the process. Since families in the Culpeper and Fredericksburg area know and trust the Found and Sons name, they can rest assured knowing we will make sure the loved one is treated with dignity and respect and that the cremation process meets our highest standards of ethics, performance, and professionalism. Our personal involvement assures that we receive superior service on a consistent basis.

When you choose cremation, ask these important questions: What kind of memorial services are available? What are the choices for personalization, and telling the story of the life that has been lived? And most importantly, what measures does the funeral home take to guard the dignity of the cremation process? We are committed to preserving the dignity of your loved one. And that’s the best assurance of all.

Why a Permanent Memorial is Always Important

Why a Permanent Memorial is Always Important

Many Culpeper and Fredericksburg families find that cremation meets their family’s needs best. Even if cremation is your loved one’s choice, we always try to stress the importance of establishing a permanent memorial for a loved one. We have found this can be very helpful to the grieving and healing process. An enduring honor to a family member or friend gives those who loved them a place to connect and pay their respects after they’re gone.

At Found and Sons, there are many meaningful memorialization option s available with cremation, even if you decide to scatter your loved one’s cremated remains in a meaningful location. We can make it possible for you to scatter a portion of the cremated remains while saving the rest to preserve in a piece of beautiful keepsake jewelry or in an urn that can be displayed in your home. You might also choose to bury a portion of the cremated remains outdoors or place them in a mausoleum. Some even choose to have a part of the remains become a part of a living reef or launched into space. We can make all of these things happen at Found and Sons.

Another option is a columbarium niche. This wall of recessed spaces holds specifically designed urns of different styles and sizes. Some columbarium niches allow space for personal items and have enough space for multiple urns, so you can keep your family together for generations to come.

One very meaningful expression we have seen some families make is dedicating trees, plants, or other meaningful items in honor of a loved one. If your father enjoyed sitting outside and experiencing nature, perhaps a bench dedicated to him would be a special tribute. If your grandmother loved roses, planting a rose bush in her honor would be lovely. Come to the memorialization experts at Found and Sons. We can help introduce you to our various memorialization options available.

Managing Grief During the Holidays

The holidays are supposed to be a time of great joy for Culpeper and Fredericksburg families. Despite all of the family togetherness and holiday cheer though, this time of year can be very painful for those who have lost a loved one.

Even the most wonderful traditions – the annual family Christmas party, a friendly gift exchange, or the sparkling tree – can be a painful reminder of your loss. Watching other people enjoy time with loved ones can stand in stark contrast to the loneliness you feel without your friend or family member by your side. And this can be true whether or not you lost someone during the holiday season, or whether or not the loss was recent.

At Found and Sons, we hope you know you’re not alone. If you’re in need of help with grief, please reach out to us. We can connect you with aftercare resources in Culpeper and Fredericksburg, or get you signed up for our daily affirmation emails. We also want to give you some practical ideas right here on our blog on how to not only get through the holidays but perhaps even find your own joy.

Handle traditions with care.

You might find the traditions you’re used to participating in are simply too painful for you this year. That’s perfectly okay. Don’t let external pressure force you into something that is going to increase your pain. It’s okay to excuse yourself from family traditions. The people who love you will understand and support you.

Be patient with yourself.

Everyone’s grieving process looks different. Don’t compare your journey to others or even what you read about in grief resources. Allow yourself to feel the way you feel, even if it’s angry or sad. On the other hand, if you feel happiness or joy as you delight in the season, that is okay too!

Take care of yourself.

Even with a “normal” holiday, things can get stressful, with presents to buy, budgets to stretch, and parties to plan. With the added pressure and emotional strain of a recent loss, all of these stressors can be compounded. Here are some tips for holiday self-care:

Get plenty of sleep.
Don’t overindulge in sweets or alcohol.
Find the time for a little bit of exercise every day – even if it’s a walk around the block.

Give back.

One of the best ways to remind ourselves of the true reason for the season is by helping others. There are plenty of opportunities during the holidays for reaching out to those in need. Contact local charities and churches to find out how they’re serving your community, and if you feel up to it, get involved. You might be surprised how it lifts your spirits!

Above all else, remember that this time of year really isn’t about presents, food, or parties – it’s about the truest gift of all – love. Reflect on the love you gave and received to the friend or family member you lost. Nothing – not even physical separation – can take that away.

From all of us here at Found and Sons, we wish you love, joy, and peace this holiday season.