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Empowering Those at the End of Their Lives Through Preplanning

People can be a little unsettled by a discussion about death, but it’s so important that end-of-life discussions happen within all Culpeper and Fredericksburg families, as well as between a family or individual and a trusted funeral home.

From our experience at Found and Sons, making prearrangements can be particularly beneficial, mentally and emotionally for those facing a terminal illness or those who are nearing the end of life naturally.

If that describes you, or you just like to plan for the future, here are four ways preplanning can help you process the idea of death and even find comfort in the midst of such a difficult time:

1.) A chance to reflect

At Found and Sons, we believe every person is unique, and their funeral service should reflect that. As a result, we offer a numb

er of ways families and individuals can express their personality through personalization. Balloon releases or memory tables are just a couple of the options.

Look through your closets and drawers – what are some of your favorite things? Your fishing pole? A book or Bible? Maybe it’s the afghan your grandmother knitted for you or your first rocking chair. We can incorporate all of these special items into your farewell.

2.) A chance to say goodbye

When you think about it, funeral services are actually more for the living than for the person who is deceased. They can bring a tremendous amount of peace.

We’re all used to hearing loved ones eulogize the person who has been lost. But wouldn’t it be special if you were able to write letters, or even record video messages, for friends and family that could be read, or played, at your own service? Preplanning gives you the power to do that.

3.) A chance for one last gift of love

At Found and Sons, we have heard time and again from families about how much it meant to them that their parent or grandparent preplanned their funeral. It removes a tremendous amount of pressure when arrangements are already in place when a death occurs. Your family is then free to focus on remembering you and figuring out what life looks like now that you’re gone. This can also minimize disputes between family members.

4.) A chance to communicate who you were

Perhaps you have very particular ideas about cremation v. burial or a specific vision for your service. When you plan ahead, you are in charge of deciding what aspects of the funeral are most important. You get to ensure your remains are treated in a way that matches up to your values and beliefs. You can also determine whether or not your service will have a religious thread or perhaps be more secular. The main thing is that it’s up to you, and you’re in the driver’s seat.

What aspects of preplanning would be the most comforting to you? Share with us in the comments below.

How to Talk to Your Parents about Preplanning

Here at Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, we’ve noticed in recent years that more and more people in Culpeper and Fredericksburg are planning their own funeral ahead of time. And some choose to do it rather early in life – many as soon as they retire. These people realize that not only are they taking the opportunity to express their own desires about their farewell, they’re removing a huge burden from their family. When the time comes, there will be no guessing and no arguments about what they would have wanted. Everything will be right there, in black and white.

For those who do preplan, it’s easy for them to see the benefits and to want to encourage others to do the same – especially their own parents. Many people encourage their aging parents to take care of practical items like a will or an advanced health directive. But making funeral prearrangements can be just as important and should be included in those end-of-life discussions.

But it can be hard to broach the topic with your mom or dad. What’s the best way to approach the subject without causing offense or making them uncomfortable? We have several tips we can offer:

Begin by acknowledging it’s not an easy topic to talk about. No one wants to think about their own death, and you certainly don’t want to dwell on how you will feel when your parents are gone.
Point out that death is a part of life, and we simply don’t know when the moment will come.
Explain why this will be helpful to you and your family. Express your desire to follow their wishes when it comes to their remembrance and final disposition.
Recognize the truth about your health or your parent’s health. If your mother or father is in poor health, the reasons to plan are even more urgent.
If you’ve preplanned yourself, tell them some of the reasons you made that choice. Most likely, the love for your family and desire to make your death easier for them will be at the top of the list.
Make sure your parents know they don’t have to tell you every aspect of their plan right now. They can meet privately with our caring team here at Found and Sons, or complete their arrangements online whenever and wherever they’re most comfortable.
On the other hand, you might offer to help them make their plans.
Reassure them of your love and their importance in your life. Tell them you hope you won’t need these plans for many years to come, but explain that this will bring you peace of mind, knowing things will be handled the way they would have wished. It’s truly a gift of love.

At Found and Sons, we are here to help you and your whole family with funeral prearrangements. We can even provide you with an example of how this conversation might go for you. Reach out to us anytime, or you can find more information or begin the planning process right here on our online home.

5 Things You Should Do When a Loved One Dies

The First 5 Things You Should Do When a Loved One Dies

If someone you love has just passed away, your head is probably spinning. Your life will never be the same, but there are some very practical things you need to handle. Here are the top five things you need to do after losing someone close to you.

1.) Report the death.

If your loved one passes away in a doctor’s office, nursing home, hospital, or in hospice care, a doctor will be able to do this for you. If they die at home here in Culpeper or Fredericksburg, you will need to call 911. While state laws vary, in Virginia, a paramedic cannot pronounce a death, so they will need to transport your friend or family member to a hospital.

2.) Make Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service your next call.

We will help you complete the certificate of death and arrange for the transportation of your loved one here to the funeral home. If your friend or family member passed away while traveling, we will bring them home in a professional manner for the lowest possible cost.

There are a number of other decisions you will need to make at this moment. Our caring, experienced staff will walk you through all of your options and determine the kind of service and final disposition that most closely matches your loved one’s wishes.

3.) Notify others.

Take care to tell the people in your inner circle first. It is best practice to refrain from sharing any news on social media until you are sure all family and close friends have been notified. Be sure to call your loved one’s employer and make arrangements immediately for the care of any children or pets left behind.

You may want to enlist the help of other family members and friends to help with notifications, especially if you are the primary person responsible for making the funeral arrangements.

4.) Plan the funeral.

There are a number of considerations for you to make when planning a funeral. Unless your loved one chose to preplan, you’ll need to decide between traditional burial and cremation, as well as their final disposition, and all the other details related to their service.

At Found and Sons, we will work closely with you to design a service that will capture your friend or family member’s personality and bring you healing. Think about the ways you want to infuse the service or visitation with your loved one’s personality. Fortunately, our staff is not only experienced with managing all of these details, they also know firsthand what a difficult process this is for you. Their care and concern will help making these decisions as easy as they can be.

5.) Begin down a road towards healing.

Grief is a long journey, and for some, it never ends. In the midst of managing the practical details that must be attended to after a loved one’s passing, don’t neglect to take the time you need to practice self-care. As much as possible, try to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep at night. Drink plenty of water, eat healthy foods, and try to fit in a bit of exercise each day – even if it’s simply taking a walk around the block. Spend time with people who lovingly support you, and don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

Above all, know that when you plan with Found and Sons, you are never alone. We are always here to connect you with resources that will help you in your grief. And our commitment to help you and your family continues long after the funeral service is over.

Do you have any tips or advice to share with others about what to do after a loss? If so, please offer them in the comment section below.

Cremation Q & A

CREMATION Q&A

For families in Culpeper and Fredericksburg, the choice of whether to have a traditional burial or cremation is a personal choice. You have to take into consideration preferences, religious and cultural beliefs, and budget. At Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, we believe ultimately that you have decide what makes sense for you and your family.

With more people choosing cremation over traditional burial, it is important to be informed before making any decisions about funeral arrangements. If you are considering cremation, you might be unsure if you can have a visitation or funeral service with cremation. Perhaps you have questions about how it’s possible to create a meaningful, personalized service that still meets all your needs.

As the most preferred cremation provider in Culpeper and Fredericksburg, our team at Found and Sons can help you determine your cremation options. To help get you started, we have provided the Q&A below to guide you through some of the most commonly asked questions about cremation.

Q. Why do people choose burial versus cremation?

A. An individual’s choice of burial over cremation is often based on family traditions and/or family beliefs. Often times, this choice is directly related to one’s religion.

Q. Can there be a funeral with cremation?

A. Yes, based on the needs of the family. A family can decide where in the funeral process they want the cremation to occur. Cremation can occur immediately with no visitation, after a private visitation, or after a traditional visitation. State laws typically dictate a waiting period before cremation can occur. During this time, very close family and friends often request a final viewing. Our funeral directors can take care of any of your requests. The memorial service is a gathering which differs from a funeral only in that the deceased is not present. Clergy may be present to contribute verbal support or to offer a prayer. Other speakers can also preside.

Q. Can the body be present at a funeral with cremation?

A. Probably the biggest misconception about cremation is that there can be no funeral if cremation is chosen. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, most people choosing cremation prefer to have a funeral with cremation afterwards. Many experts in the field of psychology recommend a funeral service as a way help with the grieving process. They feel the process helps loved ones move ahead with their lives following a loss.

Q. Do you need a casket for a cremation?

A. When there is a funeral, a container is necessary to transport the deceased to the crematory. Many crematories require a rigid container. Unique casket designs and cremation containers also allow family members a tangible way to express their care while adding beauty to the ceremony. We will explain your various casket and cremation container options for use in a funeral or memorial service.

Q. Can you be cremated and go to a government cemetery?

A. Yes. A very common disposition choice for cremated remains is burial, also known as interment. In this way, family members can be placed to rest near one another, even if another family member has not chosen cremation. The grave-site provides a permanent location to visit on important occasions such as anniversaries and holidays. Burial can be in a cemetery space, urn garden, or private crypt. A columbarium niche is a similar choice for the person preferring cremation. The selected niche is identified with a nameplate listing dates of birth and death. The columbarium offers families a place to visit and remember on special holidays and other important times.

While there are many memorial options, the team at Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service knows there is one that is perfect for you or your loved one. Contact us today, and we will help discover whether cremation is right for you.

Can I Wear Color to a Funeral?

At Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, we have heard many questions from our Culpeper and Fredericksburg communities about what is appropriate to wear and say at a funeral. Everyone is different, and each person’s life can be celebrated in a unique manner. It’s a big reason why we provide personalized funeral services for families to explore in planning.

For some, a traditional funeral complete with black or dark coloring is desired and appropriate for the life that was lived. For others, this conservative memorial might seem too somber or unfitting. There are countless ways to remember a loved one, and it is important to find out exactly what’s expected for that particular ceremony.

If the deceased was bubbly and constantly smiling, perhaps bright clothing and colorful flowers or balloons might be a fitting tribute to someone who was also bright and imaginative in life. We often hear our families say, “she would have wanted everyone lighthearted and celebrating, not crying.” Adding color to a service is an appropriate and acceptable way to memorialize a cheerful person, creating a “celebration of life” atmosphere rather than “mourning a death.”

Similarly, if a child dies, often the school holds a ceremony or service open to the students. Classmates are commonly told to wear bright colors in an attempt to make the youth feel comfortable and not intimidated by death.

Funeral Etiquette

We would advise you not to call the family during such a difficult time and bother them with questions about dress. Our staff can tell you what the family has requested, or the family may include that information on their loved one’s obituary or post it to Facebook. The most important thing is being present for the bereaved.

For what you can say to the bereaved at a funeral, it is always appropriate to speak from the heart. Some find it hard to know what to say, so try collecting your thoughts ahead of time, thinking of a good memory or story to share. There may be many people in attendance, so if time is limited, expressing your sympathy, love, and support is best. Remember your presence for them at such a difficult time will be comforting, so even saying kind words such as, “my thoughts and prayers are with you” will be welcomed and appreciated.

If you are seeking help for your friend who is grieving after the service is over, we have aftercare resources we provide for those individuals who need additional support. Our care does not stop when the funeral ends.