Responding to a Friend Who is Grieving

Responding to a Friend Who is Grieving


We’ve all been touched by loss. Even if you haven’t lost someone very close to you, you probably love someone who has. So what happens when a friend is in the grips of grief? It can be hard to know what to do, especially if death isn’t something you’ve experienced on a very personal level. Here are some tips the team at Found and Sons can offer our neighbors in Culpeper and Fredericksburg who have a friend reeling from grief:


1.) Be present.


You might think your friend wants to be alone right after a loss, and they might. But they also might need you, and are afraid to ask for help. Be with them and listen to their pain. Be sure to attend the funeral. The family has taken tremendous time to plan a meaningful tribute, and we have seen time and again how much it means when you show your support by attending.


2.) Be honest.


Don’t offer meaningless platitudes that might not be true. Instead, share your feelings with them in an open and transparent way, and encourage them to do the same. And don’t be afraid to bring up their loved one. It will help them to know how much they meant to you too.


3.) Be specific.


Your friend is under a lot of strain. In the midst of their pain, they’re having to deal with some very practical details like making funeral arrangements – especially if their loved one didn’t leave a will or plan ahead. When you offer them help, be specific in the assistance you offer.


For example, you could say, “I am going to bring you dinner one day this week. What day works best for you?”


5.) Be thoughtful.


Your friend’s grief isn’t going to just disappear after a short time. Think of them in the months to come and especially during the holidays. You might offer to visit their loved one’s grave with them on the six-month anniversary of their passing or send them a note on their family member’s birthday.


Most of all, it’s important your friend knows you’re there for them…always. And be sure to let them know there are resources available to them, including some here at Found & Sons Funeral Chapels and Cremation Service. We see it as part of our mission to help the grieving move towards healing, which is why we provide a number of aftercare resources for our families.


Has a friend ever been there for you during a hard time that made a difference? Share your story with us in the comments below.

How to Make a Cremation Service Meaningful

How to Make a Cremation Service Meaningful


Many Culpeper and Fredericksburg families believe if they choose cremation, they will not be able to have a funeral service that is meaningful and tells the story of their loved one’s life. Of course, this is not true when a family chooses Found and Sons Funeral Homes and Cremation Service. Funeral traditions are constantly changing and evolving over time, and families are now discovering that cremation is a dignified form of commemoration, when you choose an experienced funeral home that cares about your family.


As traditions change, we are always developing new and meaningful ways to honor and memorialize the life that was lived. Attitudes toward what is “appropriate” during a funeral have generally broadened, and that means we can offer families new personalized choices and unique forms of tribute and remembrance. However, families who have lost a loved one sometimes find these choices overwhelming. We can help. The best place to start is by making a list of your loved one’s interests, hobbies, accomplishments, as well as faith and cultural traditions.

What is important if you choose cremation is that you still plan a meaningful farewell. Many experts agree this is an important step in the grieving process. When you choose cremation, you may still have a visitation, memorial service, traditional funeral service, graveside observance, and many other comforting and healing rituals. And you can personalize cremation services with vaults, caskets, and urns that bear emblems and engravings denoting religious affiliation, hobbies, special interests, and/or military or civic service.


There is one other important aspect of cremation that you may wish to keep in mind. Some people have concerns about whether or not their loved one will be treated with dignity throughout the process. Since families in the Culpeper and Fredericksburg area know and trust the Found and Sons name, they can rest assured knowing we will make sure the loved one is treated with dignity and respect and that the cremation process meets our highest standards of ethics, performance, and professionalism. Our personal involvement assures that we receive superior service on a consistent basis.


When you choose cremation, ask these important questions: What kind of memorial services are available? What are the choices for personalization, and telling the story of the life that has been lived?  And most importantly, what measures does the funeral home take to guard the dignity of the cremation process? We are committed to preserving the dignity of your loved one. And that’s the best assurance of all.

We Are Proud to Fly the Flag for Our Veterans

We Are Proud to Fly the Flag for Our Veterans

As we consider the young men and women who have fought for our freedom throughout the years, whether overseas and protecting our borders at home, the words “You’re a grand ole’ flag, you’re a high-flying flag” take on special meaning. As Americans – and as people from Culpeper, Fredericksburg, and the surrounding Virginia areas – we are so proud of what our country stands for, proud of the accomplishments our countrymen have achieved, proud of the brave men and women who have fought for our rights, and proud to live in a land that is free. 


Our nation’s flag is the symbol of these freedoms and achievements. Whether it is on your storefront or on your front door, an American flag can demonstrate your patriotism for our country. As Memorial Day is just a few weeks away, it is easy to pull out a flag and show our neighbors and friends our American spirit, but keep in mind, it takes more to wave the flag high all year long.


Respecting the Stars and Stripes

Are you aware of the proper flag etiquette? It is important, as Americans, to follow the rules for handling and displaying the flag. Do you know them?

  • You should never let the flag touch the ground.
  • It should be taken inside at sunset unless it has a light shining on it.
  • The raising and lowering of the flag should be done in a quick, efficient manner.
  • Once the flag is down it should immediately be folded and put away.
  • A flag should be replaced once it becomes faded, tattered, or torn.
  • The old flag should be disposed of in a respectful manner. While there are several ways to respectfully dispose of the American flag, the most common method is burning it in a special ceremony.


Honoring and Remembering Our Veterans

Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service also has a year-long focus on honoring those who have nobly served our country and passed away. At no additional cost, a U.S. burial flag will be provided and draped on either a casket or urn alongside a veteran. The flag is given as a keepsake to the next-of-kin following the funeral or memorial service.


At Found and Sons Funeral Chapels and Cremation Service, we also can honor veterans by incorporating a flag ceremony into the funeral.  At your request, we will arrange American soldiers to present a loved one with a folded American flag in appreciation from the president and all the citizens of the United States for the deceased’s service for this great country. This touching tribute allows everyone to recognize the deceased’s bravery and remember their accomplishments, while also giving loved ones a very special treasure by which to remember the deceased. This flag can then be placed in a glass case to display at home with other memorabilia from that unforgettable person’s life.


There are other ways you can highlight military accomplishments in their funeral service. Contact the caring team at Found and Sons when it’s time to honor your veteran, or if you are a veteran and would like to put all of your funeral plans in place ahead of time.


And remember that all Americans have the amazing opportunity to display their patriotism by flying the flag high and proud.


“And forever in peace may you wave.”

The First 5 Things You Should Do When a Loved One Dies

The First 5 Things You Should Do When a Loved One Dies

If someone you love has just passed away, your head is probably spinning. Your life will never be the same, but there are some very practical things you need to handle. Here are the top five things you need to do after losing someone close to you.


1.) Report the death.

If your loved one passes away in a doctor’s office, nursing home, hospital, or in hospice care, a doctor will be able to do this for you. If they die at home here in Culpeper or Fredericksburg, you will need to call 911. While state laws vary, in Virginia, a paramedic cannot pronounce a death, so they will need to transport your friend or family member to a hospital.


2.) Make Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service your next call.

We will help you complete the certificate of death and arrange for the transportation of your loved one here to the funeral home. If your friend or family member passed away while traveling, we will bring them home in a professional manner for the lowest possible cost.


There are a number of other decisions you will need to make at this moment. Our caring, experienced staff will walk you through all of your options and determine the kind of service and final disposition that most closely matches your loved one’s wishes.


3.) Notify others.

Take care to tell the people in your inner circle first. It is best practice to refrain from sharing any news on social media until you are sure all family and close friends have been notified. Be sure to call your loved one’s employer and make arrangements immediately for the care of any children or pets left behind.


You may want to enlist the help of other family members and friends to help with notifications, especially if you are the primary person responsible for making the funeral arrangements.


4.) Plan the funeral.

There are a number of considerations for you to make when planning a funeral. Unless your loved one chose to preplan, you’ll need to decide between traditional burial and cremation, as well as their final disposition, and all the other details related to their service.


At Found and Sons, we will work closely with you to design a service that will capture your friend or family member’s personality and bring you healing. Think about the ways you want to infuse the service or visitation with your loved one’s personality. Fortunately, our staff is not only experienced with managing all of these details, they also know firsthand what a difficult process this is for you. Their care and concern will help making these decisions as easy as they can be.


5.) Begin down a road towards healing.

Grief is a long journey, and for some, it never ends. In the midst of managing the practical details that must be attended to after a loved one’s passing, don’t neglect to take the time you need to practice self-care. As much as possible, try to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep at night. Drink plenty of water, eat healthy foods, and try to fit in a bit of exercise each day – even if it’s simply taking a walk around the block. Spend time with people who lovingly support you, and don’t be afraid to reach out for help.


Above all, know that when you plan with Found and Sons, you are never alone. We are always here to connect you with resources that will help you in your grief. And our commitment to help you and your family continues long after the funeral service is over.


Do you have any tips or advice to share with others about what to do after a loss? If so, please offer them in the comment section below

Empowering Those at the End of Their Lives Through Preplanning

People can be a little unsettled by a discussion about death, but it’s so important that end-of-life discussions happen within all Culpeper and Fredericksburg families, as well as between a family or individual and a trusted funeral home.


From our experience at Found and Sons, making prearrangements can be particularly beneficial, mentally and emotionally for those facing a terminal illness or those who are nearing the end of life naturally.


If that describes you, or you just like to plan for the future, here are four ways preplanning can help you process the idea of death and even find comfort in the midst of such a difficult time:


1.) A chance to reflect


At Found and Sons, we believe every person is unique, and their funeral service should reflect that. As a result, we offer a numb

er of ways families and individuals can express their personality through personalization. Balloon releases or memory tables are just a couple of the options.


Look through your closets and drawers – what are some of your favorite things? Your fishing pole? A book or Bible? Maybe it’s the afghan your grandmother knitted for you or your first rocking chair. We can incorporate all of these special items into your farewell.


2.) A chance to say goodbye


When you think about it, funeral services are actually more for the living than for the person who is deceased. They can bring a tremendous amount of peace.


We’re all used to hearing loved ones eulogize the person who has been lost. But wouldn’t it be special if you were able to write letters, or even record video messages, for friends and family that could be read, or played, at your own service? Preplanning gives you the power to do that.


3.) A chance for one last gift of love


At Found and Sons, we have heard time and again from families about how much it meant to them that their parent or grandparent preplanned their funeral. It removes a tremendous amount of pressure when arrangements are already in place when a death occurs. Your family is then free to focus on remembering you and figuring out what life looks like now that you’re gone. This can also minimize disputes between family members.


4.) A chance to communicate who you were


Perhaps you have very particular ideas about cremation v. burial or a specific vision for your service. When you plan ahead, you are in charge of deciding what aspects of the funeral are most important. You get to ensure your remains are treated in a way that matches up to your values and beliefs. You can also determine whether or not your service will have a religious thread or perhaps be more secular. The main thing is that it’s up to you, and you’re in the driver’s seat.


What aspects of preplanning would be the most comforting to you? Share with us in the comments below.