Fredericksburg Archives • Page 3 of 6 • Blog | Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service

A Memory To Hold On To

There are many ways to honor and remember a loved one after they have passed. For Christi Thompson, her way of honoring someone is by creating memorial pillows, made from the clothing that a loved one wore.

Christi has been a Culpeper resident since moving here from Fairfax, VA when she was 15. It’s no surprise that she picked up sewing since her mother, Cynthia Godfrey, was the seamstress for the Culpeper County Sheriff’s Department. Cynthia became well known in the community for her seamstress skills. After doing some work for one gentleman in the Sheriff’s Department, she soon had other officers requesting her to tailor their uniforms. By referrals and her quality of work, Cynthia found herself with a full time job of keeping the officers uniforms looking sharp.

Cynthia had a very close relationship with Christi, her son-in-law, and grandsons. “She was basically a second mom in our household” says Christi. Known as “Mimi” to her grandsons, she helped Christi in homeschooling her grandsons. In 2016, Cynthia passed away after fighting a brave and courageous battle with ovarian cancer. Her spirit still lives on through Christi, as she has filled her mother’s shoes and is now the seamstress for the Sheriff’s Department.

The first pillow that Christi ever made was actually made for a very close friend and co-worker that had passed away. The daughter of her late and former co-worker came to have a pillow made out of a shirt that her mom, Carol, often wore. The shirt that was that was provided had a slight coffee stain underneath the collar. For the people that didn’t know Carol, they wouldn’t quite understand the meaning behind the stain. Carol was an avid coffee drinker when she would be working with Christi in Belk Department Store of Culpeper. It wouldn’t be a surprise to see Carol with a coffee stain on her shirt from drinking too quickly. Co-workers and friends always found it funny and somewhat normal to see the stain on Carol’s shirt by the end of her shift. Carol’s daughter had the pillow made as a way to keep her mother’s memory and presence with those that are still here.

Christi enjoys making these memorial pillows because of how they represent the person without words. As Christi finished telling the story behind Carol’s pillow, she began to explain that the pillows in our showroom were pillows made from pieces of her mom, Cynthia’s, clothing. She went on to explain how special it is to see a person’s clothing and just feel like you’re right back at home with that person. “It really is about keeping the spirit and presence of a loved one alive” Christi says.

To have a memorial pillow created for your loved one that is deceased, you can contact Christi at [email protected] or visit Found in Sons Funeral Chapel and Cremation Service in Culpeper, VA.

An Interview with Funeral Director, Julie Found

What is your connection to Found and Sons? How long have you been a Funeral Director?

My family started Found and Sons shortly before I was born, so I’ve been around the business my entire life. I have been a licensed funeral director since 2015.

Do you have any early memories of growing up around a funeral home? Any funny stories?

Our first funeral home in Culpeper was in an old manor and we lived on the top floor. As my mother’s favorite story goes, it was one quiet afternoon. My mom and I were in our apartment above the funeral home and Mom had to answer the phone. When she’s done with the call, she turns to look for me, and I had disappeared. I was under 2 years old at the time and my young mother started to panic a little bit. I had somehow gotten out of the apartment, went downstairs to the funeral home, and my mom found me taking a nap in a casket. We played hide and seek a lot in the funeral home, so I guess I was comfortable enough to walk in and take a nap. My mom still loves to tell people that story and it always starts: “I knew Julie was going to be a funeral director when….”

What led you to becoming a funeral director?

Growing up with two funeral director parents, I couldn’t understand why they would want to do this line of work. They actually discouraged me from getting into it because it really is a dedication more than a job. I didn’t really consider it until college. I had spent a few years working part-time for my dad, and I realized I liked to help families. So my sophomore year of college, I switched my major to business and started on this path. My dad wouldn’t let me do my apprenticeship at our business, so I worked for a much larger family-owned firm in Richmond and really learned a lot. I also realized there that I could handle all aspects of the business and I really loved it.

What does a typical work day look like for you?

No two days in this business are exactly alike, because everything is so unpredictable. Typically, when I get into the office, I check my email and other messages, see what needs to happen for the day. Next, I’ll start making my phone calls. Sometimes that means calling a preacher for a service, sometimes touching base with a family who has lost a loved, or following up on things from the day before. Later in the morning, we usually have our first appointment, so I will sit with a family and make arrangements for services, which can take anywhere from an hour to two hours. When I am finished with the family, I have to do all the tasks associated with that family. Sometimes that means embalming their loved one, sometimes it means calling and ordering our flowers, casket/urn, etc. The last thing we typically do is go over the plan for the next day.

What is the most rewarding part of doing what you do?

When we exceed families’ expectations. For most people, coming in to make funeral arrangements or seeing their loved one is the worst day of the their lives. If I can make that time a little more comforting or peaceful, I feel like I’ve done my job. The best part is when a family says “I thought this was going to be horrible, and you made it wonderful”. That really touches my heart and

What is one misconception that you think people may have about funeral directors?

People seem to think that funeral directors are like you see on TV – morbid, dark, kind of scary, but I don’t think we are like that at all. Funeral directors come in all different forms, just like any other job. We are actually quite compassionate, caring and dedicated people.

If there is one thing that you could inform people about in this field, what would it be?

How rewarding it really is to be a funeral director. Most days I feel like I’ve made a person’s awful day a little better, and that feels very good.

Typically, Funeral Directors have been a male dominated field, what’s it like being a female in the industry?

Even though it is 2019 and we have females in every workforce imaginable, it is still a little difficult to be a funeral director in this field. Especially being young, I will sometimes be looked as the assistant or the secretary, not the funeral director. Many times, people will ask one of the gentleman assisting me a question, and they will have to answer “I’m sorry, I do not know, you’ll have to ask that young lady there – she’s the director.” It’s not anyone’s fault by any means, it’s just what people are used to.

How does being a funeral director play into your life compared to having a “normal” job? How do you manage to keep a good balance of work life and personal life?

The work life/personal life of a funeral director can get complicated. We can get wrapped up in the families we are serving so much that we can neglect our own families. As long as you have a strong family support system that understands and cares about what you are doing, everything will turn out just fine.

What do you enjoy most about working and living in the Fredericksburg area? What are some things that you enjoy doing in the area?

I love downtown Fredericksburg. The restaurants, coffee shops and little stores are fun to visit and I can’t wait to be able to move down there and walk everywhere. I also love how close we are to Lake Anna. I enjoy water sports and boating, so that is always a fun, quick getaway. Fredericksburg is also the perfect spot between two bigger cities so if you want to go to a concert, catch a flight, or see a professional sports game – it’s all still very close.

An Interview with Funeral Director, Ray Rhodes

How long have you been a funeral director? What were you before you became a funeral director?

I have been a funeral director for about 8 years. I worked for Coca-Cola as a Sales Manager.

What led you to this profession?

I started out part time working for Found and Sons and liked the business. Sam Found asked me if I wanted to become a Director. I really liked what I was doing and felt like I was helping people, so I decided to go for it.

What is the most rewarding part of doing what you do?

Helping families that are having the most difficult time in their lives.

What does a typical work day look like for you?

Every morning I view all the cases we have in our care to make sure every individual is being cared for appropriately. After that, it’s emails, giving out work assignments for the day to my staff, checking on the services that are scheduled to make sure we have completed any tasks that are needed (confirming ministers, church availability, staffing, etc..), transporting individuals for cremation, embalming as needed, and reviewing building maintenance.

What is one misconception that you think people have about funeral directors?

That funeral directors don’t care about their loved one and that we are only interested in selling the most expensive services to them. With every family, I try to provide them with the best information available for them to make decisions that they are comfortable and satisfied with.

If there is one thing that you could inform people about in regard to this industry, what would it be?

Start planning now! We will all eventually need the services of a funeral home, whether it is for ourselves or for a loved one. It is much easier to make decisions about what services you will want before someone passes away. Making those decisions after someone has passed is inherently more difficult when you are in a difficult emotional situation.

What advice would you give someone who is considering becoming a Funeral Director?

Work in the field first, even part time. Yes the industry is interesting, but it is not for everyone. Most directors have a preference on the types of duties they enjoy, and some that are difficult for them. Without hands-on experience, it is difficult to fully understand what this vocation requires of an individual.

How does being a Funeral Director play into your life compared to having a “normal” job How do you manage to keep a good balance of work life and personal life?

Being a funeral director does not always leave a lot of time and energy for personal time. Take the time when you can. You will spend many days dealing with other people’s personal crisis’s, but it is important to separate your personal life from this. This is not difficult for me; however, it can be very taxing on some people.

What do you enjoy most about living and working in the Fredericksburg area?

Fredericksburg is a great place to work and bring up a family. There is a huge amount of history here, and many things to do as well. Of course, this area is growing, but it still has the home town feel about it.

Who is one person that inspires you?

The person that inspires me most would be Jesus Christ. Without forcing my religious views on anyone, he is my pick because he preached love and caring for all people. I think we all should take time to look at ourselves and strive to overcome our faults and help others to overcome theirs.

Tips for Writing a Meaningful Obituary

American playwright and novelist Thornton Wilder once said, “The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude.” Of course, grief is inescapable, and a part of the normal human experience after death occurs. One way we can express our gratitude to our loved ones is by preparing a farewell that captures their essence and communicates what they meant to us and to the world. The team at Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service has been honored to do that for our neighbors in Culpeper and Fredericksburg for more than 80 years.

One of the oldest forms of paying tribute to a loved one is the obituary, which can be traced historically back to the time of the ancient Romans. While it has been called a number of different things throughout the centuries, the modern death announcement became known as an “obituary” around the 18^th century. Obituaries have undergone a lot of changes throughout the years. For example, 20 years ago we would primarily read obituaries in the local newspaper, whereas now, online memorials are more popular. Publishing online is preferred because loved ones can edit content, including video and photo slideshows, and share easily and widely on social media networks. Families use obituaries to tell their loved one’s unique life story and to communicate key information about the visitation, service, or reception. Friends and family members can also leave online condolences that appear instantly.

The ability to share a loved one’s obituary so widely increases the importance of creating a tribute that is accurate, vivid, and compelling. It’s a significant responsibility, but at Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service, our caring staff has the knowledge and experience to help you with this. We realize writing an obituary can seem daunting, especially while dealing with the numerous decisions and tasks that must be made in connection to the funeral service. At a time when grief can overwhelm, we are here to help you find the words you want to say.

As you’re preparing to write an obituary, consider these tips to help you get started:

Keep it simple

An obituary can be many things: a notice of death, a story of life, a family record, a request for memorial donations, a source of information about funeral service, and a thank you to special people, institutions or groups who provided help and comfort. It is also a defining statement about the person who has died, so accuracy is crucial. If you are struggling with what information to include, we can offer step-by-step guidance, so you convey your loved one’s personality and contributions in a meaningful way.

Review the obituary to catch misspellings and verify facts

Too often, errors slip by – names are misspelled, dates are incorrect, specifics are overlooked – which is why it is essential to have a number of people proofread before publication. Our caring team, available at our locations in Culpeper County, will make sure to choose appropriate phrasing and confirm correct information.

Take care when selecting what to highlight

Key points in an obituary include childhood, education, career, military service, hobbies and accomplishments. These details serve as a reflection of your loved one and present an opportunity to let his or her personality shine on paper. In many cases, an obituary is the only article ever written about a person’s life and may be the only record of existence that remains centuries later. We realize how important this is, and that’s why we post obituaries on our website free of charge for families we serve. Our online obituaries also provide links to send sympathy flowers and the ability to light a memory candle.

During this difficult time, please remember that our compassionate staff Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service and is here for you with advice, comfort and expertise. Reach out to us today.

My Loved One Said, “No Funeral.” What Should I Do?

My Loved One Said, “No Funeral.” What Should I Do?

This is an issue we hear about time and time again at Found and Sons Funeral Chapels & Cremation Service: What should I do when my loved one made it clear he or she does not want a funeral or memorial service? Your loved one may be thinking this will help the family by saving them time and money. But what some people here in Culpeper and Spotsylvania Counties don’t realize is how much healing takes place with a meaningful tribute. Plus, when a funeral is preplanned, and maybe even pre-paid, there is so much pressure taken off the family during an already difficult time.

If your loved one has “No funeral,” or even solidified his or her wishes for no service by preplanning, what options do you have?

Some might say you should honor the loved one’s wishes. Others might suggest hosting a small, private get-together, where close friends and family members can pay their respects. Then there are those who would say funerals are for the living, and they will decide how to proceed.

As you can see, this can be an incredibly complex issue, and it’s one more and more Culpeper and Fredericksburg families have dealt with in recent years. While there is no cut-and-dried solution, our professional team has a few suggestions for those of you who find yourselves struggling when a loved one makes this request.

We’ve been assisting Culpeper and Fredericksburg families with funerals for decades, and we know the pivotal and highly meaningful role a service plays in the grieving process. A ceremony marks every transition in life: weddings, baptisms, graduations, and funerals. Gathering together to recognize the importance of the life that has been lived is essential after a loss. However, the tribute you plan does not have to reflect a “traditional” funeral.

We offer alternatives such as celebrant services instead of religious services, visitations with or without viewing, unique ceremonies to honor the person who has died, and receptions that feel more like a party than a funeral. We try to be creative in helping families make funeral arrangements, so the decisions truly reflect their personal preferences and the life that has been lived.

At Found and Sons, we believe every life has meaning, and we will work with you to design the tribute your family needs to bring healing. Reach out to us, and we will help you figure out your next step during this difficult time.